


Gone

by Azuwrites



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings will be explored deeply, Have some fluff in between, I am angsting myself with this, I wrote this instead of studying and sleeping, Identity Reveal, Love will be learned, So much angst, What am I doing to these precious cinnamon rolls?, so much hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6609619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuwrites/pseuds/Azuwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep doing this to this boy. It was unfair. It had to stop.<br/>That was Plagg’s resolution.<br/>Maybe Adrien wouldn’t be able to run across rooftops anymore or climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Maybe he had to go back to being an ordinary student, without any superpowers, but at least… at least he wouldn’t be cursed with eternal bad luck.<br/>Closing his eyes to fight back the evidence of his reluctance, his guilt and his desperation, Plagg released the bond, connecting him to this lovely human. But the bond wasn’t the only thing breaking at that moment.<br/>‘I’m sorry, Adrien. I am so sorry. But it is for the best.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cursed

The snow fell, almost danced onto the roofs of the city of love.

Even from a distance, one could easily make out the big, fluffy cap that the most famous sight of the city wore in its top, like the veil of a bride. The trees looked much the same, but taking into consideration the size of them compared to the high rising tower, one was more reminded of little children wearing cloths over their heads, covering their unprotected scalps, just like the trees were without guard, now that the last of their wittered leaves had fallen and vanished.

Most people tried to evade the cold, staying home and warming themselves next to their fireplaces, evident from the smoke coming out of most of the chimneys in the neighbourhood. Those, who were still outside, either hurried along, avoiding the thick flocks of frozen water, that blurred their sight, to get to their destination as fast as they could, or were young enough to throw snowballs and build men made out of ice, carrots and most likely the scarfs and gloves of their parents, still able to enjoy the wonders of winter.

Then winter it most certainly was.

It was the first snow day in Paris, causing the school to be closed. The flocks of ice eventually stopped falling from the sky, leaving space for the slowly setting sun to show herself again, weak, but still shining, strong enough, that the fresh piles of snow reflected her light, giving the city the kind of glow, that most tourist came for and that the thousands of postcards around the world displayed. It did seem kind of magical.

If it weren’t for the bar like windows through which the observer of the whole scene looked. If you were to ask him in his current mood to describe the view at hand, he would most likely be inclined to use much different words. The outer peacefulness just didn’t reflect the inner state of the young boy. If you did not know him, you might never recognize the storm that rampaged inside of him. His face seemed perfectly neutral to an out stander, maybe even a bit bored. Nothing to be worried about.

But the small, night-coloured Kwami knew the boy long enough to notice the small, but important anomalies that gave away, that Adrien most certainly did not feel bored. Like the tension built up in the corner of his mouth, as he desperately tried not to make a grimace; or the dark green seas, that were his eyes, which dulled at the sight of the city; his arms gripping his upper body a bit too tight to be comfortable, his nails having left read streams on his skin; his shoulders, that were slightly drawn together, as if he might expect an attack at any moment.

Definitely not bored.

“Hey, Adrien, it’s…” _okay_ , Plagg was about to say, before he stopped himself, knowing that is was most certainly not. No amount of cheese was able to fix this. He had been sleeping in Adrien’s pocket, when he was woken up by shouting. He had missed the first parts of the conversation, but it wasn’t hard to puzzle them together, using the rest of it.

Adrien was in trouble. And it was most likely his fault.

Again.

Plagg didn’t seem to learn his lesson. Of course, there were advantages of being Chat Noir, the enhanced senses, the physical power, the magic… and he always hoped that maybe once, _just once,_ the bad luck, that was tied to the powers, would leave his charge alone. But no such luck…

These little privileges paled in comparison to the guaranteed harm.

And this time the Kwami seemed to play an even more active role in the misfortune than before. Judging from the conversation, Adrien’s father had forbidden his son to go to school and informed him that he was to be home tutored again, the reason for this being the constant absence of him at photoshoots and other modelling gigs.

And this was where Plagg came into play.

Besides the many times, that an Akuma attack had prevented his boy from meeting his appointments, Plagg had sometimes encouraged him to skip them for other reasons, in favour for hanging out with his friends, when he noticed that life was becoming too much for the student.

 In the beginning, everything had seemed fine. Adrien had seemed happier than before his time as the staff-wielding, masked superhero, that watched over the whole of Paris and Plagg had even hoped, that his curse would leave the boy alone, that maybe, _maybe_ , this time, he wouldn’t ruin his life, like the many lives before. That maybe, his charge could have a happy ending, like he deserved.

How foolish of him. How very naïve, stupid, _foolish_ of him.

Of course there had to be a catch. They had skipped work one too many times, until Mr. Agreste finally drew the unfair consequences out of the situation. There was no way that his century old curse would just vanish from one day to the other. The only way that could happen, was if his boy was to find true love and his bad luck had been very successful in preventing that from ever happening with any if his protégés.

Looking at Adrien, who hadn’t moved a muscle for over twenty minutes, just staring out of his bar-like windows, his heart broke for the thousands time in his long, long life. And with it, a resolution rose, that he never had known before.

Plagg had been careful to never get _too_ involved with his champions, knowing that he would only be disappointed and tortured by the misfortune he brought them, so he had always kept his distance, ignoring the whispers in his mind, until the age of his charges forced him to find a new one. But it had been impossible this time.

Adrien was just too… too much. Too much of everything. Too kind, too trying, too brave, too lonely… The last one being one of the main reasons, why Plagg had been involved from the beginning on.

He couldn’t understand how the boy turned out so loveable, taking into consideration all of the circumstances of his upbringing. At least the ones, Plagg knew about.

He had his suspicions that the only way, the boy could have turned out, like he did, had something to do with the blond women on Adrien’s desktop. Adrien did not talk too much about her, always smiling when he did, but it was a pained smile, so Plagg had never pressed him to do so. The only thing Plagg was certain of, was that she was his mother and that Adrien loved her very, very much.

The only problem was that she had died years ago, before he ever came to know the boy.

Seeing the brokenness, the anger, the overwhelming loneliness in the child’s eyes, because who was he kidding, the boy might have been already seventeen, Adrien was nowhere near the age of being able to handle all of… this. Seeing all this reflected in his ever darkening mirrors of his soul, Plagg was about to throw up.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep doing this to _him._ It was unfair. It had to stop.

That was Plagg’s resolution.

Maybe Adrien wouldn’t be able to run across rooftops anymore or climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Maybe he had to go back to being an ordinary student, without any superpowers, but at least… at least he wouldn’t be cursed with eternal bad luck.

Closing his eyes to fight back the evidence of his reluctance, his guilt and his desperation, Plagg released the bond, connecting him to this lovely human. But the bond wasn’t the only thing breaking at that moment.

‘I’m sorry, Adrien. I am so sorry. But it is for the best.’

 

 

Adrien didn’t know how longed he had been frozen in place, trying to calm his nerves, to keep himself from shouting and raging. He had no idea, how much time had passed, since he had started staring outside of the window. He only yet realized that it had stopped snowing completely and that the light of the sun had been replaced with the lamps of the city lanterns.

A sight escaped him, reminding him that he hadn’t cared to breathe deeply even once in the last hour. He rubbed at his eyes, tired from staring for so long, before finally putting an end to the whirlwind of images, spinning around in his mind. He hadn’t done anything really productive today, thanks to his dispute with his father, which had left him in a state of inability to think about anything else than his unfair punishment. But with his thoughts racing, one louder, faster and more blinding than the other, he had come to no conclusion and he deemed it impossible to find a solution to his current situation, so he might as well call it a day and think about it, when morning came.

Funny how little the world cared for its inhabitants. The sun would still rise in the east, clouds would form to block her light, snow would start falling again tomorrow, to keep the city under a blanket of white, cold ice, without caring about a small, unimportant boy named Adrien Agreste, locked up in a house too grand, to be ever filled with enough human warmth, to keep him from internally shivering every day he would spend in it. Maybe his friends at school would notice his absence, but there was little they could do, to change it.

He just had to hope, that he could turn this around, that his father’s punishment wouldn’t be permanent and with enough effort at the coming photoshoots, he would be allowed to go to school again. Worrying about missing too much subject matter was pointless, as his home tutors would make sure, that he would be up to date. And furthermore: It was his last year of school. His father would have to let him continue, or finishing his a-levels would be very complicated.

But what bothered him the most wasn’t even the punishment. It was the date.

It was today. Today was the death anniversary of his mother. When his father had called him into his office, he had hoped that he had finally remembered and taken the time to visit her grave together with him, as opposed to Adrien going all by himself in the last five years. So the sudden ban of school had angered him even more, resulting in him even shouting at his father, something he couldn’t remember he had ever done before.

Another sigh escaped him.

Anyway, at least he was still Chat Noir, right?

Just thinking about it made him want to smile. When he closed his eyes, he could almost feel the wind gushing through his hair, when he ran along rooftops, enjoying jumping over small alleys between buildings or climbing up the Eiffel Tower.

When he concentrated a bit more, he was even able to hear the laughter of his lady, as she followed along besides him on his stride above the streets of Paris, which only contributed to the soon appearing smile.

Of course there were disadvantages of being a superhero-slash-student-slash-modelling-son-of-the-most-important-designer-in-Paris. Sometimes it was impossible to get it all under one hat, which would occasionally lead to situations like these, when he would be punished for slacking behind with his _duties as the son of An Agreste_ , to use the wording of his father, the capital letter very important to know how to emphasize.

But these little things paled in comparison to all the joy it had brought him.

If he had never become Chat Noir, he would have never been brave enough to convince his father of letting him visit a public school or he would have never felt the adrenaline kick one would get out of fighting evil to protect others.

And he most certainly would have never met Ladybug. Now that he knew her, he couldn’t imagine his life without their daily patrols over the roofs of Paris, or how her confidence gave him the bravery to rise to the challenges of everyday life, without giving up. She was his lucky charm, the counter weight to his guaranteed bad luck. His initial blurry image of her had become more and more clear and detailed by the day, alongside his feelings for her. Having spent a good chunk of the last two years with her, he had seen more of her not so pretty sides he had only seen once, when he had first met her. Her insecurities, her weaknesses, her anger and her tears.

To sum it up, her human side. Over time, he had come to realize, that she wasn’t so much different from him. Sometimes, she was overwhelmed by the whole thing as well, voicing her fear of not being enough to protect the city, similar to his own. Or the way she cried, when the whole double-life thing became too much. Or the way she sometimes missed with her yo-yo, when she was unfocused, which had let to some very close calls, hadn’t he caught her. She wasn’t perfect, not at all.

But all of this had in no way dampened his feelings towards her, it had more likely the opposite effect. Seeing her “bad” qualities just highlighted her good ones. Her confidence, her gentleness, her bravery and her caring attitude towards others, even strangers. Now that he knew her, he wouldn’t want to miss the feeling of being her partner. Even though he still didn’t know, who she was behind the mask, a little voice in the back of his head told him, that he would know soon enough.

The thoughts of the liberties and amazing experiences he had, when he wasn’t Adrien Agreste, but instead wore a black mask with matching cat ears, were enough to let him relax. He finally took that deep breathe that was long overdue, before letting the smile turn into a grin at the idea of taking advantage of these freedoms to clear his head completely. Maybe his daily evening patrol with his lady would help him calm down.

“Hey Plagg, ready to go for a run?”

Adrien turned around, the grin still plastered on his face, wanting to make sure, that his partner in crime saw it. He hadn’t paid too much attention to his constant companion, due to his inner state of turmoil, but he had heard the worry in his Kwami’s voice, when he had tried to cheer him up before. So the surprise of not spotting the black, cat-like, floating being, when he turned around, was bigger than it had been anyways.

“Plagg?” The question hung unanswered in his too large room. Looking around a bit closer, he spotted the untouched pile of camembert on his table, only contributing to his uneasiness.

“Plagg?!” The tone of his voice had become a bit more urgent, as he was still unable to spot his friend anywhere. He checked everywhere. The bathroom, the second floor gallery, even under his bed, before searching the rest of the huge mansion.

More than half an hour later, Adrien was back in his room, sitting on his bed, thinking about the whole situation.

Why would Plagg hide for so long, leaving Adrien all by himself in his current circumstances? It was very unusual for the little black cat to behave like this, considering that he had always been there, when Adrien had been down.

Was it just him or did the room feel even colder than before?

Physically shivering, he raised his arms again in an attempt, to warm himself up, when he realized something. Something was missing, besides his little friend.

Adrien’s right hand was bare of any ring, leaving no trace that it had ever been there.

Panicked, he looked around on the floor, thinking that it might have slipped off his finger but having no luck in finding it anywhere in the proximity. His fear of losing something so important made him retrace all of his steps since the dispute with his father, resulting in another Odyssey through the house he could not quite bring himself to call his home anymore.

When he finally found himself back in his room, leaning against his climbing wall, the realization of what must have happened came crushing down onto him, tightening his chest, sucking the air out of his lungs.

Adrien laughed a bit at the ridiculousness of his thoughts, but the laugh was soon choked by his lack of oxygen.

Plagg had left. Plagg had left and taken the powers of Chat Noir with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers,
> 
> I didn't have inspiration for a looong time, but do you know when it came back? ONE WEEK before my freaking A-level exams! I seem to be cursed too. But oh well. I am quite proud of this (and believe me, a writer/artist/whatever is seldom content with their own work) and there is soooo much more to come. Like, I can't believe how much I have written already and it's not even half of what I am planning. Still need to edit the coming chapters but please stay tuned for more coming soon!
> 
> I will try to keep up a weekly uploading schedule, so see you next week!
> 
> With soooo much love,  
> Azu
> 
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	2. Searched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previoulsy on Gone:
> 
> Plagge left Adrien, after deciding that he can't continue to ruin the boy's life. Adrien realizes, that his powers are gone.

On the other side of the city, one may enjoy a bit different view than from the Agreste mansion.

Of course, there would still be snow piled upon everything and everyone, who was still out at this time of the day, hurried along to get out of the cold, but although it had stopped snowing and the stars had come out, one may be unfortunate enough to get sprayed by little ice flakes falling off roofs without apparent reason. Anyone, who was fast enough to look up, to find the cause of their involuntary cold shower, would only see a glimpse of red, striding above the housetops of Paris, before it would vanish into the dark.

Some may think it a hallucination, but others would recognize one half of the hero duo that protected the city and smile to themselves, as they would sweep off the snow on their jackets and continue walking, a bit happier than before.

The same couldn’t be said about the girl in spots, running above them, flinging her yoyo out every so often, if the gap was too big or too high to jump over without assistance, her eyes searching frantically for a glimpse of black or green. A few streets away from the Eiffel Tower, where she had started her quest, she stopped, breathing a bit more heavily than normal. Her search for her partner had been unfruitful, which just contributed to her uneasiness and her pounding heart.

It wasn’t that out of character for Chat to call off a patrol, when his “other” life needed more attention than usual, she had done it herself a few times, when exams came around or when she had to help at the bakery, in case new supplies came in later than expected. Although Chat Noir hadn’t called off a single patrol in the last half year, she wouldn’t have been surprised, if he had done so now.

But the problem was that he hadn’t called it off at all. Yesterday, he had assured her with a hand kiss that he would see her tomorrow and they had a deal, that if they couldn’t make it at short notice they would call each other, to avoid worrying one another.

Which was exactly the reason why Ladybug had sprinted across the roofs of half of Paris in worried search for her cat-eared companion. The inconclusiveness of her quest weighted on her chest, making it harder to breathe. Where could he be? Had there been an attack and he had been injured? Maybe even by an Akuma? Was he already in the hands of Hawkmoth? Or had he simply forgotten?

“That stupid stray cat!” Ladybug cursed under her breath, sitting down to contemplate the situation.

She had tried calling him dozens of time, but there seemed something wrong with his phone, as if the connection had been cut off. She had checked their usual meeting places and small hideouts, for example the upper beams of the Eiffel Tower, even above the viewing platform. Then she had spent the last two hours searching every square of Paris in a two miles radius, with no luck.

No luck. How ironic, huh?

Where the hell was he? Where was her partner?

Sitting down for the first time since she had been out and about, the thoughts that Ladybug had pushed aside for the whole time finally grasped their chance to come to the surface.

There is a saying that goes something along the lines of one only appreciating what one has when it is gone. In her case, it wasn’t fully true, because she had always appreciated him to a certain extent, but Chat’s absence did make her think of how much she missed her partner.

Or maybe even more than just her partner…

The young woman groaned. Not again. These kinds of thoughts had been hunting her for almost half a year now and she just didn’t know how to shut them out.

From the beginning on, she had sworn to herself to keep her distance from the cheeky cat, as she was already in love with her classmate. Of course she knew about his interest in her, evident in every stolen hand kiss and every bad, cheesy, mostly pun-related pick-up-line. She always rolled her eyes, when he made a move on her, but secretly, she admired his bravado. If only she could be as brave around Adrien.

But the admiration didn’t stop there.

She had lost count of how many times he had saved her life, throwing himself in harm’s way or taking a blow that was originally meant for her. He always brushed it off as nothing, claiming, that he had nine lives anyway and that it was his job, pointing out the fact that he was unable to cleanse Akumas.

But there was more behind him protecting her than a sense of duty or because it was part of his job description as a hero. These traits in him made her heart jump, every time she thought of them.

Even now she could feel her pulse accelerating, thinking about his bravery, selflessness and kindness. Of course, his puns and often reckless behaviour annoyed her sometimes, but she still couldn’t imagine doing this job without him.

After all, he was the one who stopped her from quitting on day one.

Ladybug shook her head in frustration. It didn’t matter and she shouldn’t think about all of that. She was in love with Adrian and even if he didn’t return her feelings, it still felt like betraying him, if she admitted that she might see Chat Noir as more than just her partner in crime.

Furthermore, she didn’t even know his real identity, so a relationship wouldn’t be possible in the first place. She chose to ignore the fact, that the only thing hindering her, from knowing the boy behind the mask, was herself, as he seemed more than willing to tell her the truth.

Thinking about it all gave her a headache and after brooding about it a bit more, she decided, there was nothing more she could to. With on last futile try of calling him, she noticed that it was already past midnight and decided to call it a day. She had to hope for the best. If she found out, that he had simply forgotten to tell her, she would be furious with him, but it would be better than imagining him hurt, defenceless and in the hands of their archenemy.

It might seem a bit ridiculous to worry so much about a forgotten cancellation of a meeting, but in their line of work, there was so much more at stake than themselves. Even if it came to one of them patrolling alone, the other one would always be just a call away, if needed and it was only with the secure knowledge that they could depend on each other and trust each other blindly that they managed to stay atop of everything and protect the people of Paris.

Deciding that it was pointless to continue worrying, Ladybug sighed once more, before heading in the direction of the Dupain-Cheng-bakery. It was Wednesday after all and she had school tomorrow, so she should at least try and get some sleep. The thought of all the unfinished homework she had on her desk because of her missing partner made her groan. The next time she would see Chat Noir, she would make sure to hang him upside down from his fake tail, which he cared for more than he should.

Nearing her home, she slowed down to look around, to make sure, that no one would see her, when she would slip through her hatch into her room. Satisfied, that there was no one around, she was about to jump, when she stilled in her motion.

Someone was in the park, standing directly in front of the statue of Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Ladybug took a closer look, to see if that someone was looking in her direction, but even though it was clear that she was out of view, she couldn’t bring herself to look away.

That blond hair seemed too familiar to ignore.

‘Adrien?’

 

 

Adrien himself didn’t know how he had gotten there. As soon as that crushing realization had set in, he had run out of the house, ignoring the questions of Nathalie. His legs had seemed to carry him around the whole of Paris in a frantic quest to find his Kwami and get his freedoms back, he so desperately depended on, in order to be able to breathe in this restricting world of his, built by his father.

He hadn’t been brave enough to shout out Plagg’s name, earning enough stares and headshakes as it was and instead relied on his eyes, ears, hell even his _nose_ , desperate for a flash of black, an annoyed sigh or maybe even the stench of cheese. But no such luck. Although he didn’t wear his ring anymore, his bad luck did not seem to leave him.

The boy had only realized where his feet had taken him after hours of running around the city, when he stood directly in front of the two statues. Looking up at the stone doppelgangers of himself and his lady, the reality of his situation smashed down onto him again. In his room, it already had seemed like someone had poured a bucket of ice cold water over him. Now he felt like he was drowning in a stormy ocean, the waves pulling him under every time he thought he might be able to gasp for the much needed air.

But there was no oxygen. Only one final truth.

He was never going to be Chat Noir again.

 

 

Ladybug hid behind a nearby tree, watching the boy only thirty foot away concernedly. What was Adrien doing out here at this time of night? Especially without a jacket or scarf or anything to keep him warm? Winter had come quiet fast, with the temperature falling under minus ten degrees at night, making even her shiver slightly in her suit, which was supposed to keep her comfortable in all kinds of weather.

She hadn’t used her Lucky Charm today, but she could still feel the exhaustion of her three hour quest to find her partner, so she released her transformation as quiet as possible. Marinette was still battling with herself, whether or not she should approach him, when she saw him fall to his knees before the statue and digging his hands into the snow. It made her gasp and without further ado, she walked slowly towards the broken boy.

 

 

Adrien didn’t even realize he was on his knees, until he heard something drop to the ground in the proximity, only then feeling the tears slide of his face and into the snow, leaving little holes in the pile of fresh ice.

The holes were nothing compared to the empty space in his chest.

Seeing the crouching figure of his alter ego carved out of stone had given him the rest. Seeing, what he would never be again, now, that his powers were gone. But that wasn’t all.

The jumping form of Ladybug just above his own, throwing out her yoyo in front, a look of determination and smile on her face was even more painful to look at. He was never going to be able to help his lady again. He was never even going to really _meet_ her again, now that he was incapable of turning into her most trusted companion.

He had lost her. As if losing his mother hadn’t been enough, he had lost his lady as well.

The tears started falling even faster, melting the snow under him with their warmth. It was a cruel heat. A sob escaped him, alongside with some stuttered words.

“I am s-sorry, my lady-y… I am-m s-so sorry!”

His breath started accelerating, his heart pumping more oxygen towards his brain, than was necessary. He was clawing at his hair, but he neither felt the pain of his nails digging into his scalp, nor did he feel the cold that had a firm grasp on him. But before he could start hyperventilating completely, he heard a soft, unsure voice above him, addressing him directly.

“Adrien?”

His head move up so fast, that he could hear something crack in his neck, but he didn’t care. He knew that voice, looking up at the statue in front of him, but he couldn’t believe his ears. Was he so desperate, that his mind was starting to play tricks on him?

“Ladybug?”

 

 

Marinette stiffened slightly at the sound of her other, secret name. She was still thinking about what to do and even considered running away, when Adrien hindered her from doing that by turning around.

She would never forget the look in his face for the rest of her life. Never before had she seen someone so lonely, so afraid, so _broken_ , it brought tears to her eyes. Noticing the streams on his face, she realized he had been crying himself, which just strengthened her urge to do the same.

Marinette scolded herself. She couldn’t let herself be weak, when it was so apparent, that he needed her to be strong right now. That he needed someone to be there.

“Marinette…” His voice cracked at the sound of her name, which was the last straw. She had to help him, whatever it was.

The girl let herself fall onto her knees, ignoring the icy coldness, piercing through her much too thin clothes and instead grabbed Adrien’s hands, shocked at their blue colour. Looking into his face, she saw, that his fingers weren’t the only spot that were almost frozen.

Talking could wait. What he needed now, was a place to warm him up. Without hesitating, she pulled him to his feet, supporting him slightly, as she started walking towards her house.

Adrien seemed too absent to protest, so he went along her willingly, his mind slowly numbing, just like the rest of his body. Marinette would have had a hard time getting him to her house, considering that he was more than one and a half heads taller than her, hadn’t it been for her civilian strength outside being ladybug, originating in her helping around the bakery. She was a bit nervous to use the spare house key, hidden in a small space above the door frame, as she had originally planned to enter the house the way she had left – through her hatch on the roof, so she hadn’t taken her key with her, which would seem very suspicious.

But Adrien still seemed far away with his thoughts, so she quickly unlocked the door and half-carried the young man inside, before making sure to bolt it behind her again. Thank God her parents had a deep sleep, because although she tried to be as silent as possible, her stealth was compromised by the inactive boy besides her.

After what felt like half an eternity, she had finally reached her room, opening the hatch without a sound, before she could set Adrien down onto her lounge chair in one corner of her room. Grabbing as many blankets she could find, she wrapped them around the shivering boy. Deciding it was still not enough she took hold of her portable heater and turned it on full power, setting it in front of the boy, before she quickly made her way into the kitchen, to make some hot chocolate. Her parents still seemed to be asleep, which made the whole thing easier, though she doubted that the situation could become any more complicated as it already was right now.

When she returned to her room, two cups of hot beverage in her hands, Adrien hadn’t moved an inch from his initial position, still starring right out front. The blankness of his eyes almost made her cry again, but she shook her head in an act of defiance and instead concentrated on getting her friend warm again.

The feeling of the warm cup in his hand must have triggered something in him, then suddenly his gaze seemed to clear a bit, just enough to realize, where he was and who was kneeling in front of him.

“Marinette!” he exclaimed. As he shifted his weight, he only then noticed the piles of blankets on top of him and the warm cup of golden-brown liquid in his hand. Only then did he finally understand the situation.

Marinette had found him crying in the park in front of her house and she had taken him to her room to keep him from freezing to death. She must wonder, what had happened.

“Marinette, I… I-I don’t know how to… Look… I’m-“ before he could continue stumbling over words, never really finding the right ones, Marinette shook her head softly, before raising a hand to his face and wiping something off his cheek. The gesture made him realize that he had started crying again. Adrien wanted to pull away, to hide his face, ashamed of being so weak, but Marinette didn’t let him.

“It’s okay, Adrien” she assured him in a quiet, soft voice “you don’t have to explain anything. Just get warm again and go to sleep. If you want to talk about it, we can do that tomorrow. But don’t worry about anything right now. I’m here. It’s ok.”

 

As simple as these words were, they were all Adrien needed at the moment. Someone, to not ask, what was wrong, but to simply be _there_.

Marinette was surprised, when he leaned into her hand a few seconds later, but did not pull away. Instead, she just set down her cup of hot chocolate in her other hand, reached for his fingers, that didn’t hold his own cup and gently stroke his knuckles in an attempt to get them warm.

Twenty minutes and one empty warm cup of hot chocolate later, his body temperature had risen significantly into a normal range and she could feel his breath slowing against her palm, which hadn’t moved from its former position on his cheek. Concluding that Adrien was about to fall asleep, she slowly removed the cup from his already loose grasp and positioned the pillows on the chair in a way, that would allow him to lay down comfortably.

After having made sure, that he was covered properly, she wanted to finally remove her hand from his face, when his own hand grabbed her fingers.

“Don’t…” Adrien whispered already half-asleep through lidded eyes, but his grasp around her fingers tightened ever so slightly. Marinette was at a loss what to do. In the end, she settled herself into a bit more comfortable position on her carpet, laying her arm on the edge of the lounge chair and resting her chin on it, looking up into the face of her secret love, still showing evidence of his crying.

“Okay” she simply answered, which he responded to with a small smile and a soft pressure on her palm, before he finally allowed himself to slip into the land of dreams.

If he had known, what expected him there, he most likely would have tried everything in his power, to stay awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> As promised, the second chapter.  
> Finally, Ladybug is here! Now things will finally start to get down. Next chapter: Even more despair! (If that is even possible... I am a horrible person)
> 
> Thanks for the rewiews, kudos, bookmarks, whatever! I love all of you!
> 
> With soooo much love,  
> Azu
> 
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	3. Offered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone:
> 
> Ladybug searched frantically for her partner, until Marinette found a broken boy in the park across her house, taking him home with her.

 

When Marinette was woken up that night, she couldn’t tell why initially.

The first thing she felt was the numbness in her legs, wondering why she sat on them instead of lying in her much more comfortable bed. She groaned slightly, wanting to move her hands towards her tingling calves to massage them awake, when she found herself unable to do so. Something was restricting her fingers and thus hindering her from shifting her arm.

Finally blinking away some of the sleepiness in her eyes, the young women looked around herself, trying to understand the situation she was in.

She was sitting on her carpet. She was still fully dressed. Her arms rested on the edge of her lounge chair on the lower level of her room. Her hand was tightly held by the most handsome teenager of whole Paris. The moon was shin-

Wait a moment. What was that before?

Adrien was holding her hand?

All the sleepiness forgotten, Marinette blushed fiercely, before the events of the night came back to her and brought her back onto the ground. This was no time to be flustered, something was wrong.

She finally understood, what had woken her up. Adrien’s nails had gouged painfully into her palms. But his hands weren’t the only things that were tightened.

Looking into his face, his eyes were squinted, as if he was trying to block something out. Beads of sweat ran along his temples, his mouth drawn into a thin line. His breath was shallow and fast, as if he had trouble getting air into his lungs, his body shifted restless, his hand never letting go of hers, instead clinging to it even more than before. Groans escaped his gritted teethes and although there was no apparent reason, for which he should be in physical pain, something was definitely wrong.

“Adrien. Adrien, wake up!”

Marinette cleared her throat in an attempt to regain her somewhat weak voice and shook his shoulders gently, but firmly, still not able to let go of his hand.

“Adrien, please! Wake up!” Her voice became more urgent, as her attempt to getting him out of his state only seemed to contribute to him getting even more restless, to the point, where the blankets slipped off him completely. Marinette’s hands desperately found their way up to his face, hoping that the contact might calm him and would be more effective in waking him up.

“Adrien?” she asked almost fearful, as he finally seemed to settle down a bit and leaned into her hand again, just as he had done merely hours before. His breath slowed against her palms and her heart broke a little, when his fingers tightened even more around her palm, pressing it against his cheek, as if he was afraid, that she would let go, that she would leave him.

Shortly after his breathing had calmed down, his eyes fluttered slightly, before they opened ever so slowly, looking around. His eyebrows drew together a bit. He didn’t recognize the walls surrounding him, the events of the last night only coming back to him eventually.

When he felt a hand pressing against his cheek, he followed the wrist up the arm into the concerned face of Marinette.

“Marinette?” he asked drowsily, his voice still weak. The girl just swallowed hardly at the sound of her name, before she nodded slightly and finally pulled her hand away, now that the boy had realized, that he had been holding her back from doing so the whole time.

“Yeah, it’s me. Do you want to get up?”

Adrien nodded, before pushing himself up carefully into a sitting position. Marinette’s chest ached at the sight of his fallen shoulder and his hanging head, his emerald eyes not daring to look into hers. Silence settled in, as if a dark blanket had laid itself over the whole situation, with neither of them moving an inch. Marinette did not dare ask, what had happened. If he wanted to talk about it, he should do so out of his own accord, without her pushing him.

Similar thoughts were running through the mind of the young boy opposite of her. How was he going to explain his behaviour from before? He was grateful, that Marinette hadn’t asked yet, giving him time to think of something.

But how do you explain crying in front of a statue of superheroes in the middle of the night? There were little options, besides the truth. And the truth was no option at all.

Or maybe it was after all? Maybe at least a part of it.

“I, eh” he began, before clearing his throat, shocked at the weakness and fragility of his voice. He dared to look up into Marinette’s face, surprised to see an encouraging look on her face, while she reached for his hand simultaneously, reassuring him with her warm eyes that whatever he would to, it would be okay with her. Even if he would stop speaking altogether, she would most likely let it go and still be there for him. That was just the kind of person the baker’s daughter was, the girl he had come to know better over the course of his high school career.

This was what broke the dam inside of him. Although he did not feel any pressure, to tell her, what was going on, he had the unexplainable feeling of _wanting_ to tell her. Before he could stop himself, the words were out in the open.

“Yesterday was the death anniversary of my mother. My father had completely ignored it again, just like the last five years, but I had really hoped, that he had remembered. So when he called me into his office, I thought he wanted to offer going together to visit her grave, but instead he just announced, that I was to be locked up again in the house and pulled out of school, for having missed some appointments in the last few weeks. I was angry and frustrated and-“ Adrien swallowed, had to remind himself, that he was not supposed to talk about his little black friend, before continuing “-and I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t stay in that _house_.” He spat the last word, as if it was poison on his tongue, which expressed truthfully what he thought.

“S-so I just opened the door and ran. I hadn’t even realized I had ended up in that park, until I was already there. After all this, I-I just couldn’t keep it in any-anymore and that’s when you found me…”

His voice had grown quieter and quieter towards the end, his eyes evading her gaze. He couldn’t bear the knowledge of lying to her. What he had told, was the truth, but the most important thing was missing, letting him feel like he was betraying her. But he had no choice.

Or did he?

Did it even matter anymore? Plagg was gone, so where was the harm in telling Marinette about his secret? It’s not like it held any significance anymore.

Before Adrien could decide, what to do, he was pulled out of his thoughts by the light pressure on his hands. Marinette lowered her head, so that her face was in his field of vision, forcing him to look into her eyes. Moving up again, he followed along, unable to break free, now that she had caught his gaze.

“I can’t claim that I understand your pain and to offer my condolence to you would do you little good.” Adrien was surprised at her statement, as it stood opposed to everything he had ever heard before. In his younger years, shortly after her death, he had come to hate the words “I am sorry” and “I can understand that this must be difficult.”

How could they say something like that? How could these adults assert, that they could understand how it felt to lose one’s _mother_ at the age of twelve? Their words had always seemed shallow and superficial to him, holding no real meaning behind them. The more he was surprised by Marinette’s choice of words, as she continued to put light pressure on his hands.

“I can’t guarantee you, that I will be of any help and this is no order but more of an offer, so please don’t feel obliged to agree.

You can stay here if you want to, I bet my parents will understand. At least until you are ready to face… the situation.”

At loss at how to paraphrase the _situation_ at hand, Marinette stopped talking and instead watched his reaction to her offering.

Adrien stiffened at the unexpectedness of her proposal, before his eyes scanned hers, automatically trying to find falsehood behind her words, a reflex he had developed after years of empty words and promises. When he realized, what he was doing, he scolded himself.

This wasn’t his father. This was sweet Marinette, who had saved him from freezing to death.

Marinette observed all of this with a heavy heart. Had life really taught him to trust people that little?

It seemed that he had come to the conclusion, that she was not mocking him, because his posture relaxed a bit, his hands returning her squeeze slightly.

“I would like that…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand hello again.
> 
> Still figuring out how this system works. Finally understood, why the update didn't show the right date. 
> 
> This week only a short chapter, but I will update the fourth chapter very soon. After these two chapters, the real action will start :D (Oh, you have no idea, what is coming for you.)
> 
> And it is more than scary how easily I can come up with bad puns (you will see those soon). Chat's influence is strooooong.
> 
> Next time on Gone: Everything is perfect, until everything goes wrong.
> 
> Love you!
> 
> Azu
> 
> PS: You can find me on tumblr as well. I will upload the chapters there, too.  
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	4. Accepted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone:
> 
> Marinette found a completely exhausted and crying Adrien near her house and took him home with her. They talked and decided to let Adrien stay at the Dupain-Cheng's house.

 

 

Marinette could not keep herself from looking at Adrien concernedly during the whole class, even if all she could see was the back of his head.

Although she had offered to skip school in the morning to rest and sort things out, Adrien hat declined.

“I don’t want you to miss any classes because of me and I would like to avoid being alone for the time being.” He had said with a faint smile on his lips, the gesture nothing compared to his usual warmth.

In school he tried to act normal, evident by him talking cheerfully with his neighbour, now that the bell had rang for lunch break. He laughed and joked like always, only when he thought, that nobody looked, he let himself sigh or squint his eyes in frustration.

Without his knowledge, he did have an observer in these moments. Because Marinette’s eyes almost never left him. Their other friends did not seem to notice, that he was just putting up an act, but the face of the boy, kneeling in the snow with tears streaming down his face would not leave Marinette anytime soon, the image had almost burned itself onto the back of her eyelids.

Only when Alya snapped her fingers in front of her, did she realize that her best friend had been calling her name for quite some time now.

“Hey Marinette, what’s going on? You have been spacing out the whole day. Is something wrong?”

Marinette almost jumped at the suspicious undertone in the voice of Alya, before she hastily gathered her stuff to go home and get some lunch, before she laughed nervously.

“Something wrong? No, not really. I just… didn’t get that much sleep last night, yeah, just tired, why?”

It wasn’t even a real lie, because Marinette had actually slept pretty badly, with everything that had happened. But the way she delivered her excuse was more than just questionable. How had she been able to keep secrets, bigger than some international spies had, when she was so bad at lying?

Alya just gave her one last concerned look, before she shrugged and sighed.

“Anyway, I can’t believe there haven’t been any real Ladybug sightings in the last few days. The city is so… peaceful, it is freaking me out!”

Marinette couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s frustration about the lack of _danger_ , but she stopped shortly afterwards, when she saw Adrien’s face again. He was talking to Nino, smiling, but she could tell even from a distance, that it wasn’t genuine. The dark circles under his eyes were just one small proof of what had happened the night before, but they were enough to remind her of his desperate face.

The young women shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and concentrate on her conversation with Alya, as they headed outside of school. She was talking about her dream last night, were she had been able to get an exclusive interview with Ladybug about the latest attack, while dressed in a clown’s costume, when they had finally reached the front steps.

“Okay, so I guess I will see you later. Try and take a nap during lunch break, Mari!”

Alya waved at her, before walking down the street in the direction of her home.

“Yeah, see you later.”

Marinette waved back, when she heard the boys approaching behind her.

“And there is this part, where the hero just falls down from somewhere, directly onto the villain, knocks him out and saves the day! Dude, we absolutely need to watch this movie together! You will love it!”

“Yeah, that sounds amazing, Nino. See you later! Bye, Marinette!”

The girl almost jumped at the sound of her name, having almost forgotten, that their friends were not supposed to know, that he was staying at her place. She answered with a rushed goodbye, before finally starting to walk towards the Dupain-Cheng-bakery, when Nino’s question virtually made her stop in her tracks.

“Dude, you’re not being picked up by your bodyguard as usual?”

Marinette wanted to keep listening, but knowing how weird it would be for her to just stop in the middle of her way, she continued walking. Adrien had to figure this one out on his own.

She kept walking straight ahead, knowing that Adrien would soon catch up to her. He would take a detour, so that their friends wouldn’t think it weird, that they would walk home together. After a few minutes, she could hear hurried steps behind her before the part-time model fell into step besides her.

“What did you tell Nino?”

Adrien seemed a bit surprised, that she had overheard their conversation, but he answered anyway.

“That my father had enough trust in me, to let me go to school on my own.”

Marinette looked up into his face, to see a bitter smile form on his lips, considering that this was quite the opposite of what had actually happened.

They continued their way in awkward silence, neither of them knowing, what to say. Marinette wanted to cheer him up badly, but she couldn’t think of the right words.

_Don’t worry. I bet you will reconcile with your father soon and live happily ever after._

Life wasn’t that easy. Life wasn’t a fairy tale. Life was much more complicated and complex than anything the young woman could think of. Marinette sighed, thinking back to her conversation with her parents in the morning.

She had been sure to wake up earlier than usual, to avoid her mother from coming in the room and seeing Adrien, without any clear explanation. Being bakers, their parents had been up for hours, preparing everything, so they had been quite surprised to see their usual late daughter standing in the bakery without either of them having had to shake her awake.

At first, she hadn’t known how to properly explain, that Adrien was in her room, when she decided, that it would be best, to just tell them the coarse truth without explaining too much to protect her friend’s privacy.

In the end, she had told them that he had had “problems with his father” and had needed to get away for a few days to let things calm down, so he had come over late in the night.

Her parents had been even more understanding, than she had expected anyways, with her father remarking, that Gabriel Agreste had always struck him as a rather cold man. They had assured her, that he could stay as long as he liked, considering they had a guest room for him to use. At this point, Marinette had refrained from telling them, that he had spent the last night in her room, just thanking them for their generosity. After that, she had gone to wake up Adrien, assuring him of her parent’s permission, glad, that it brought a relieved smile onto his features. She would make sure to cheer him up to the best of her abilities.

Being only a few blocks away from her home, a question she had refrained from asking in the morning, came back to her as she stole a glance at his clothes, dishevelled from the night before.

“As I said, it is no problem that you stay with us for now, but there is still the issue of clothes. My father’s clothes would be much too big. Is there any chance, you can pack a few things from home and bring them here?”

Adrien needed a few seconds, before he understood her words, as he had been thinking about something very different. His face fell at the prospect of having to go back to that _house_ , but he did see her point. Admittedly, the image of him wearing the clothes of the kind baker, who had taken him in without asking any questions, almost made him smile again. He thought about the issue, coming to a solution.

“That should be doable. My father isn’t at home today and it shouldn’t be a problem to sneak in. I will go after school. Thank you again, for doing this for me. I… I really appreciate it. Sorry, that you got dragged into this whole mess.” He gave her a weak smile, rubbing at his neck, hoping that he would be able to get into his room unseen without being able to transform.

“N-no, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. Let’s grab some lunch, before we go back to school, okay?”

“Sounds like a good idea to me.”

By the time, they had ended their conversation, the door of the bakery came into sight. Adrien still couldn’t believe that Marinette and her family let him stay so easily without asking many questions. Thinking about the breakfast earlier, he couldn’t wait to eat lunch with them, smiling quietly to himself. They had eaten together, her parents asking questions, that didn’t make him uncomfortable, listening with genuine interest, as he talked about school, fencing and modelling. When he had come to the last point, Marinette’s mother had giggled and started saying something about already knowing that, regarding some kind of pictures she had seen, but before she could explain, what kind of pictures in particular, Marinette had gone inexplicably red in the face and urged her mother to change the topic.

Adrien had been overwhelmed by the warmth and the bonds of the three people at the table, clear, that these kinds of conversations and jokes they shared between themselves were normal. Back at home, he couldn’t remember a single meal he had shared with his father and he had never had the chance to eat at Nino’s house, because every time, his schedule had gotten in the way and Nathalie would have scolded him for breaking his diet plan. The laughter and shared smiles at the table of the Dupain-Cheng’s had been a whole new experience to him. Earlier, he had still been a bit hesitant to fully join the talk, but after seeing their smiling faces, when they entered the bakery together for lunch break, he decided to not hold back this time and fully enjoin the time spent together with these people.

It had also been very nice to see a new side of Marinette. Although she had stopped sputtering in front of him long ago, she had still been a bit timid when they talked before, but on this morning, she had quickly overcome her shyness and included him in the family conversation.

As expected, lunch with Marinette’s family did wonders to his mood. Marinette seemed to have warmed up to him even more than before, seeing as she even dared to tease him about a bad pun he had made, when he had carelessly shown his real personality. The thought of her smile made him grin. Knowing now, that he was more than welcome to fully join the conversation, he joked and laughed with the loving trio, enjoying himself even to the point of almost forgetting the reason he was in this situation in the first place.

Almost.

Ignoring the issue at hand had become impossible, as soon as he stepped out of the bakery to get back to school together with Marinette. Waiting outside was someone, who made the smile freeze on his face and let him remember the reason, he had been able to enjoy the Dupain-Cheng’s company in the first place.

“Adrien.”

Without realizing it, he stepped in front of Marinette, shielding her from the disapproving eyes of his father’s assistant, spreading out an arm in front of the girl.

Nathalie gave him a stern look, standing in front of the car that had driven him to and from school every day for the last two years. So his father had finally noticed his absence and sent his manager to bring him home. The fact that he hadn’t come himself didn’t even surprise Adrien, but it still disappointed him more than he was willing to admit. But considering the usual lack of interest, his father showed in him, sending Nathalie after him almost seemed caring, didn’t it?

Maybe he did care after all? Maybe he was sorry? Maybe things would change for the better?

The manager seemed to have noticed his protective stance, taking a look at his almost hopeful gaze. Something seemed to flash across her face for a split second, something he could have sworn, was reluctance at what she said next, but the emotion was gone as quickly as it came, her face taking on a business-like look. Nathalie looked down onto her tablet, still internally unwilling to convey the message, her boss had given her, but she had no choice.

“Your father wants me to tell you, that you have a photoshoot this afternoon and sends me to pick you up, to bring you there. Furthermore, he expresses his… displeasure for having to search for you and demands you to return to the mansion immediately and wants to remind you, that you are still grounded and forbidden to go to school. Please get into the car, there is a fresh change of clothes waiting for you in the back.”

Adrien registered the gasp behind him, coming from Marinette, before she stepped past him to talk to Nathalie in an outraged voice, seemingly not being able to believe the coldness of his father’s message. He also heard the voice of Nathalie, asking the girl to stay out of this, as it wasn’t of her concern, what was going on in the Agreste family. The demand only seemed to fuel Marinette’s anger, as she started a long explanation, why she _was_ involved indeed and had every right, to be concerned, but Adrien didn’t bother listening closely.

He could totally believe that these were his father’s words and he scolded himself for hoping that it would have been different.

Had he really been foolish enough to believe, that his father saw him as something different than an object, free to be moved around at his wish? Hadn’t he learned his lessons in all these years?

Adrien’s vision blurred and it didn’t took him long to realize, that he was on the edge of tears. Again.

It was too much. He couldn’t let Marinette see him cry again after last night. He couldn’t keep bothering her with his problems. He had to get out of here.

“Adrien! Where are you going?!”

He only realized he had started running, when Marinette shouted for him to wait, but he just pressed on. He had to get away, away from everyone and everything. He didn’t know, where he was going, trusting his legs to take him somewhere, where he could be alone with his racing thoughts. He knew he couldn’t just outrun his problems.

But that didn’t mean that he sure as hell wouldn’t try.

 

 

 

The wind blew strong and without mercy, making the little black Kwami shiver with coldness. After having left yesterday evening without a word of goodbye, Plagg had wandered the streets of Paris aimlessly, not yet ready to search for the Great Guardian to break the news to. Eventually, he had found himself in front of the Eiffel Tower, rising high above him.

He knew, that Adrien – or one should better say, Chat Noir – had often met with Ladybug up there, when they had started their patrol, so in an attempt to feel at least a bit closer to his former partner, he had floated up to their usual meeting space, even above the viewing platform.

The whole thing just contributed to worsening his mood.

He already missed the blond boy with the lonely green eyes, even more than he missed the high-class Camembert he had been served by him, which was a clear indicator for how strongly he felt attached to Adrien, considering his overwhelming love of cheese. He hadn’t wanted to leave – it had pained him more than he was willing to admit. But it had been necessary. For the sake of the boy.

His curse was unbreakable. Every time Ladybugs and Chat Noirs had gotten closer, his bad luck had ruined everything, before they could actually find true love in each other, so why should it be different this time? He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t let anything happen to Adrien or his Ladybug. Not again.

Plagg kept telling himself, that it had been inevitable and that he would have felt worse, if he had stayed, but it helped little to close the gap in his tiny chest.

He missed him. Very much. But he knew he could not return.

 _‘It is only for the best.’_ Plagg told himself again, as he curled around himself a bit more, to keep himself warm, longing for the warmth of Adrien’s pocket, letting exhaustion take hold of him.

It had been a long time since Plagg had a nightmare but he would never, ever forget the pictures of times long gone he would see in his unsettling afternoon nap of that day.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> As promised, you get the next chapter sooner than usual, next chapter will be updated next week! There, the real action will finally start and oooh all the problems. It will be so much fun >:D
> 
> See you soon!  
> Azu
> 
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	5. Possessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone:
> 
> Adrien thought he had found a save haven with the Dupain-Chengs, after having lost his Kwami and his powers, when he is to be pulled back into his old life. Not being able to cope with the situation, he ran away.

 

 

When Adrien had finally calmed down enough, to see where he was, his eyes found the side of a canal, near the famous Pont des Arts.

It was one of the less prettier sides of Paris, as it was not designed for tourists and thus left bare of any greens or decorations in general. This part of the canal was actually protected by a fence, he must have climbed over it without realizing.

Adrien let his face sink back onto his knees, pulling them even closer than before, as he tried – and failed – to block out the again rising emotions.

If it had only been his father recurring lack of interest in him and his mother, he could have dealt with that. Hell, he had dealt with that for the last five years. Sure, it had been very difficult and his loneliness had almost driven him crazy, but everything changed, when he had found that little, red-black box on his table, shortly after he had turned fifteen.

The last two years had been the best of his whole life.

With public school, his friends and Ladybug, the bitterness and darkness inside of him had started to fade, being replaced by warmth and affection. Concerning affection, his continues flirtations with Ladybug had seemed to bear fruits, as she had stopped pulling her hands away, when he kissed them and even hugged him sometimes, after especially fierce battles. It was clear, that she still didn’t reciprocate his feelings, but it had been a start.

And now… nothing of that mattered anymore.

He had lost his permission to go to school, soon he would lose his friends. And after having lost Plagg as well, there would be nothing left. Everything would go back to the dark days from before his adventures as Chat Noir started and he didn’t know if he could deal with all that loneliness again.

Had he been stupid enough to believe, that he could run from his father forever? During the meals with the Dupain-Cheng, he had idiotically allowed himself to believe, that he could have something like that as well, that he could stay with the bakers forever. His fantasies of a different, loving family had been more than fulfilled during his short time with them. If it had continued, he might have even accepted his fate concerning his lost Kwami, but it should have been clear from the beginning, that this luck was only short-lived. Instead, he had allowed himself to dream. How stupid.

He hadn’t learned a thing.

 

 

 

Hawkmoth stared down onto the little picture inside of his staff, tracing the printed hairline in an almost caring way with the tips of his fingers. Paris had been very quiet lately, with no one being desperate, angry or hurt enough to akumatize. Maybe it was the so-called magic of the snow, getting everybody in a merry mood for Christmas.

Thinking about the holiday made him close his eyes in frustration. As soon as the big window disappeared from his eyesight, another picture drew itself at the back of his eyelids.

Tibet. Mountains, temples, nature. Green and colourful, just as she was. He had already booked the flight tickets, planned the whole trip.

But they had never even boarded the plane.

Another sigh escaped him. He had almost decided to call it a day – again – when he stopped in the middle of his tracks.

Those were some strong emotions.

He quickly stepped back to the window, letting his eyes wander the city in the search for the person behind these intense negative waves. In his mind, the whole city glowed with emotions, varying in shade and intensity but he only looked out for the darkest point, the highest concentration of anger, envy, despair or anything alike. After a few moments, he found his target near the Pont des Arts, frowning, when he recognized it.

It was his own son.

Hawkmoth was confused, thinking maybe that he had located the wrong person, but with a bit more concentration, he could confirm that the negative impulses indeed came from Adrien. And the force of them was something he had never felt.

He couldn’t clearly see the reason for the boy’s current mood, but the waves of anger, hurt, frustration, despair, sadness and betrayal were almost too much to fully grasp. Adrien was in more than the perfect state to be akumatized and Hawkmoth knew from experience, that the strength of the emotions played a crucial role for the power of his evil champions and he had no doubt, that Adrien would be more powerful than any of his previous minions.

The father still hesitated.

It was his son after all and he could imagine that he himself could be blamed for at least a part of Adrien’s anger. The idea, to let his own son fight against Ladybug and Chat Noir triggered some reluctance on his part, not wanting to deal with the aftermath.

Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Just thinking about those two heroes, he could hear the blood rush in his ears and his heart hammer against his chest. They had won for the past two years straight, even if some of the battles were more than just close calls, making him a laughing stock.

The thought of his utter defeat let him push any thoughts of reluctance away. He didn’t care if he had to use his own son to get what he wanted. The Miraculous were all that mattered right now. Ladybug and Chat Noir were too heroic to actually hurt his boy and in the end, if he finally succeeded, Adrien would profit very much from his victory. His eyes found the picture in his staff again. It was also for the sake of his son that he had become Hawkmoth. He could think about Adrien’s feelings, after he held the Miraculous in his hands.

Noticing his conviction, one of his butterflies came flying directly into his palm and it took him little effort, to turn it black.

“Fly, my evil little Akuma and corrupt his heart!”

 

 

 

“Where could he have possibly run off to?”

Marinette finally came to a halt, after having run around for the last half hour, in her frantic search for her friend, not unlike her quest from the night before. She didn’t dare turn into Ladybug, as it would draw too much attention and may freak people out, so she had settled with running around in her normal form.

She had searched every accessible corner in a radius of five blocks, without catching a glance of his blonde hair or startling green eyes anywhere.

Huffing, she tried to even her breathing, before she started running again, not caring, that school had already commenced again. Finding Adrien was more important at the moment, who knew what could happen to him in his current state.

But even her most crazy what-if-situations in her head couldn’t have prepared her for the coming horrors of the day.

 

 

 

Adrien had taken out his mobile, opening the decorative cover to take out the hidden photograph, looking once again at the picture, his body still curled into a ball.

His mère. One of the most beautiful women on the planet – inside and out. Loving, caring, funny, but also sassy and teasing, she had been everything Adrien had ever aspired to be. He had hoped, that her face would calm him down as usual, but the longer he looked at the picture, the more he could feel the anger, sadness and frustration strengthening in his body, heating him from the inside in an uncomfortable way, nothing like the warmth he gained from being a hero. Shutting his eyes, he tried taking in deep breaths in order to ease himself, but to no effect. He was so lost in his own thoughts, that he didn’t notice the small black butterfly, approaching him.

Adrien sighed, looking up, when his eyes registered something in their periphery, but it was too late. The Akuma had already taken possession of the photograph, turning the object black. Immediately, a butterfly-shaped line appeared around his eyes and somehow, he could see the face of Hawkmoth in front of him.

“Hello, Chat Gris. Your anger and frustration will make you a fine anti-hero. Listen here; I will help you corrupt those around you, even Chat Noir and Ladybug, so that everyone will feel, like you do. The only things I want in return are the Miraculous of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Do we have a deal?”

Adrien stared at the image in front of his eyes. How could this be happening? Hadn’t Plagg said that Miraculous owners were exempt from being possessed? How was this even possible?

The boy internally shook his head. Of course he was frustrated, but this? This was too much. He wouldn’t let Hawkmoth use him in his sick game against Ladybug. He wouldn’t be turned into a pawn in a cruel game for power. Yes, he was still angry but there was no way he would let himself be controlled – not again. He had been a puppet for much too long and wouldn’t allow a new Jack-a-dit to enter the playing field.

Adrien wanted to open his mouth and refuse, when he found himself unable to do so. Shocked, he realized that he wasn’t alone in his head.

There was something dark. Something dark, brooding, awakening, something he suddenly knew, had always been there, but his powers as Chat Noir had suppressed the blackness – until now (How ironic, considering he was called “Black cat”). Like a storm cloud, it whirled in the back of his mind, becoming bigger and thicker by the second, filled with rage, disappointment and the urge to let all if this out, to let go, to lose control for once, without caring about image or representing a whole company. This part of him didn’t want to behave, it didn’t want to be heroic; all it wanted, was to make other people feel the same way he was. And without Plagg by his side, the darkness seemed overwhelmingly strong, to the point, where he could not stop his head from nodding. Horrified, he had to watch as this other, dark Adrien smiled cruelly. His own voice sounded foreign in his ears, the pun more frightening than amusing.

“Sounds purr-fect to me. Let’s go hunt some bugs!”

 

 

 

It had already been an hour, since Adrien has disappeared and Marinette still hadn’t found a trace of the boy. After more running, she had found herself on the Pont des Arts, overlooking the canal, hoping, to maybe find him along the shore.

“Where the hell did he go? What if something happened to him? Oh Tikki, what am I supposed to do?!”

“Calm down Marinette, I am sure, he is fine!” The answer came from her slightly opened purse. The girl took a deep breath, trying to slow her pounding heart, originating from her running around the city and her worry for her friend. There was no use in her losing her mind, she needed to _focus_ if she wanted to be of any help.

When she thought, that she had finally calmed down enough to continue searching, she heard a scream from her right. Turning around, she saw a woman, holding her head between her hands. The man next to her stretched his arms towards her, when the woman suddenly broke down and started bawling her eyes out. She let herself fall onto her knees, her hands covering her face, but the sobs that escaped her throat clearly audible through her fingers.

The image was shocking. Looking around, Marinette saw, that the woman wasn’t the only one crying. Half of the people on the bridge were sitting or lying on the ground, tears streaming down their faces, some of them even screaming in agony. The scene was heart-wrenching and completely inexplicable.

Marinette’s hand wandered to her purse, looking for a hiding spot to transform. This paranormal activity had to do something with an Akuma. If Adrien was still running around on his own, he was endangered as well. She had to stop this, before she could go looking for him again.

Just as she was about to bolt off to hide and transform, her feet were pulled away under her. Marinette gasped, before she hit the ground, hard. Having hit her head as well, she was a bit dizzy and unable to stand up for a few seconds. Before she could turn around, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Where are you going, Princess? You can’t leave just now, I need you to help me, otherwise there might be a _cat_ astrophe.”

The young woman groaned, when she recognized Chat’s voice. She started turning around, to look at her partner.

“Chat, this is no time to play around, we need to find Ladybug and-“ Marinette stopped in the middle of her sentence. Her eyes were open wide when she took in the person in front of her.

Expecting her crime-fighting partner, she was instead greeted by red, angry-looking eyes under jet-black, stiff hair. The rest of the Akuma’s suit did bear a significant resemblance to Chat’s outfit, beginning with the reinforced boots up to the fake ears, but there was one major difference.

It was completely grey.

The dirty-snow-coloured mask around his eyes made the blood-red of them seem even more prominent and intensive, as they bore into her, the smile on his face more cruel than teasing.

“May I introduce myself? Chat Gris! Always willing to help, if you need to make someone weep.”

Before Marinette could answer, there was a scream behind Chat Gris, as the guy from before, whose girlfriend Marinette had witnessed breaking down, ran towards him, ready to fight the akumatized boy.

“If you will excuse me for a second. Looks like someone needs to learn his paw-lace. ”

The young woman watched in horror, as the grey-suited boy turned around, white sparks emitting from his right palm. His left hand grabbed the swinging fist aimed towards him, while his other arm shot forwards, his fingers gripping the shirt of the man.

Marinette had to watch in fear as the victim of Chat Gris’ cataclysm fell to his knees, his hand gripping his temples, painful screams escaping his mouth, his face contorted in agony, tears streaming down his cheeks.

The young woman gasped, her eyes widening, her whole body trembling, when the boy turned around and casted her an evil glance.

“It seems like all of this is not enough to get Ladybug’s attention. Maybe a small abduction will be enough to draw her out of her hiding spot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW, the real action starts. Oh, and all this despair, angst and whatsover? It's only gonna get worse >:D
> 
> Next chapter will be uploaded this week as well, seeing as it is shorter than usual, so stay tuned for more struggle :D
> 
> Thank you again for accompanying me on this journey, this is one of the longest (and probably soon will be the longest) fanfiction I have ever written and I am so excited to share the rest with you! Oh, you have no idea what is coming for you >:D
> 
> With sooo much love!  
> Azu
> 
> PS: I just saw that I forgot to put the "Previously on Gone" in the last chapter, so I updated that. Sorry :'D
> 
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	6. Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone:
> 
> After having lost his Kwamii, Adrien had decided to stay at Marinette's house, when Nathalie came to bring him back. Frustrated, he became a target for Hawkmoth, turning into Chat Gris and thus abducted Marinette.

 

 

The next time Marinette opened her eyes, she had to close them immediately, when she felt the pounding in her head.

Groaning she turned to the side, her hands holding her temples, trying to massage the pain away. She was surprised to find them free and not handcuffed, considering the fact, that she was a prisoner.

When the pain in her head had faded enough for her too open her eyes again and inspect her environment, she understood the lack of bonds.

Seeing that they seemed to be on the upper beams of the Eiffel Tower, there was no need for her to be constrained. Her only way out would be climbing down the steel bars and that would be more than just dangerous, especially with the strong wind that made it even hard to stand. She was glad for her pigtails.

“I see you have finally woken up, Sleeping Beauty. I thought you would be out for at least another hour. Seems like I really am unable to hit a women seriously.”

The cold voice behind her made her whole body go stiff, before she stared shaking. Only then did she notice the absence of her bag. Looking around frantically for the hiding space of her Kwami, she found the accessory on the other end of the broad metal beam, next to her mobile.

And in between her and her powers stood the dark figure of Chat Gris.

Although he did bear a striking resemblance to Chat Noir, there was no way, that the boy in front of her was her partner. It wasn’t the first time, that the outer appearance of an Akuma resembled one of the heroes themselves. His use of the nickname ‘Princess’ had confused her temporarily but given the many times, she had worked with Chat as Marinette, someone was ought to pick up his name for her and thus it most likely had become public. Anyway, their Miraculous protected them from Akumas, so it was impossible for Chat Noir to become a victim of Hawkmoth’s. The boy in front of her was just another affected citizen of the city, being used for evil purposes, one out of the hundreds she had fought in the last two years.

But there was something about this boy especially that made her shiver and shake in fear. She hated her lacking bravery, but Chat Gris really did make her more nervous, than she had ever been before, when facing an Akuma.

“What do you want from me?!” Marinette silently cursed the fact, that her voice was shaking as well, but there was nothing she could do about that at the moment.

“Oh, from you? Nothing in particular. You are just the means of getting to Ladybug. She really is taking her time. Maybe someone as insignificant as you is not worth her time?”

The words stung, even though she knew, they weren’t true. Ladybug would come to save anyone, strangers or friends alike. The only good thing was that Chat Gris moved from his former position, clearing the path to her bag. Still, it would be useless to just grab it, given that there was no place for her to transform unseen. She needed a distraction to get away.

“Even if Ladybug cannot come, it won’t be long until Chat Noir will be here and kick your stupid butt!”

Chat Gris turned around again, his face showing surprise at her sudden bravery, making her proud of her bravado, but his next reaction stunned her.

He laughed.

The boy in the grey suit laughed, as if the possibility of her partner beating him up was ridiculous. His laugh was cruel as well, not comparable to the sweet giggles of her most trusted companion and it only contributed to her worsening headache.

When his expression of amusement was finally over, he smirked at her condescendingly, putting his gloved hands on his hips.

“It’s funny, how much trust you put into that silly stray cat. There’s no way in hell that weakling and his joke of destruction power could beat me. Anyway, he won’t be coming. Not today and never again!”

The words made Marinette gasp. What did he mean? Was Hawkmoth responsible for Chat’s absence? Did he do something to him?

“You’re lying!” Marinette shouted, not sure, if she believed her own words. “There’s no way in hell, you could have or will beat Chat Noir. He will come! He will come and save me!”

Chat Gris’ smile only seemed to widen at her angry outburst and he took a step towards her. Startled, Marinette receded until she could feel cold metal at her back. Meanwhile, the grey-suited boy had come nearer, until he stood directly in front of her, one hand next to her head, the other gripping her chin, forcing her to look into his menacing red eyes.

“It’s not that I did something to him and that’s why he won’t come, but believe me, he won’t. Let me tell you a little secret.”

Chat Gris leaned forward even more, his hand making it impossible for Marinette to move her head, until his lips were almost touching her ear, as he whispered into it.

“I am Chat Noir.”

 

 

Hawkmoth stood very still, as he watched the scene in front of him. He had wondered why Chat Gris had only cared about Ladybug, although he had instructed him to get both Miraculous.

His champion’s last words seemed to echo in his mind.

_“I am Chat Noir.”_

One of the powers that came with the butterfly Miraculous, was the ability to read emotions, which made it possible to find vulnerable enough humans to be akumatized in the first place. Using this, Hawkmoth tried to detect any falsehood in this last statement and he was shocked, when he found nothing but the truth.

His son was Chat Noir.

 

 

Marinette’s whole body went rigid at his words. She could feel his unusual cold breath on her ear, before he pulled back and smiled at her cruelly.

“No cat is coming for you. And as soon as Ladybug arrives, I will take her Miraculous and then I will be the only powerful person left in the city!”

The young woman was still in shock, trying to find out, if he was lying. It was true, that Chat hadn’t shown up yet, but this didn’t automatically mean, that he had been akumatized. The only way, that could have happened, was if he had somehow lost his Miraculous.

Marinette went stiff once again. Her mind raced back to the evening before. The absence of her partner – the cut connection to his phone, leaving her unable to even leave a message – Tikki’s comment, that there may have been something wrong with Chat’s Miraculous, because she had trouble picking up its energy waves.

It would explain everything. But was it really possible?

Even if it was a lie, the truth was that nobody had come to save her yet and she didn’t know, what would happen, if they had to wait for much longer. Chat Gris had already started pacing around, his tail jumping nervously behind him. He had already shown his willingness to use violence once before, when he had hit her over the head with his black baton to make her unconscious and the waiting only seemed to fuel the building anger in his crimson eyes.

There was no one coming. She had to save herself.

A plan formed in her mind. It was a stupid, dangerous and not very good plan, but she had no other choice. She had to get to her bag and she had to get away to transform. If she didn’t do anything now, who knew, how long she would stay unharmed.

Still afraid, but also determined, Marinette detached herself from the beam behind her, using the fact, that Chat Gris was looking away from her, watching the roofs of Paris, to move towards her bag. Never before had she been this grateful for her hate of high-heeled shoes, allowing her to move silently in her ballerinas.

She had almost reached there and was only a few feet away from her Kwami, when the akumatized boy turned around and caught her in the act.

Marinette froze shortly, before she ran the last few steps toward her bag, lunging for it, the same time, Chat Gris started coming for her to intercept.

Luckily, she reached first. Grabbing the bag in her hands, she had no way to stop her momentum. Given that the bag had lain only inches away from the edge, the force of her jump was enough to send her over it.

With her Kwami in her hand, Marinette fell over the rim of the beam, plummeting, with no yoyo to stop her fall.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short chapter, but again, less waiting time :D
> 
> Not one of my best, I have to admit, but it's necessary to set up the following plot (which will be nice :D I like the following chapter, it has very much action in it :D Still have to edit though...)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and see you next week!
> 
> Love  
> Azu
> 
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	7. Wounded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone
> 
> Adrien's desperation caused by his loss of power and his father's cold beahviour left him vulnerable enough to be akumatized. In order to lure Ladybug into battle, he kidnapped Marinette. Trying to escape, the latter fell down the Eiffel Tower.

 

 

‘Marinette!’ Adrien screamed silently in his head.

If he had had control over his body, he would have jumped after the girl without hesitation. But in his current situation he could do nothing, but watch the girl fall, the wind forcing him to look away after a few seconds. The next time he opened his eyes – she was gone.

‘No…’

Adrien felt his heart tightening in his chest. The darkness in him did not seem to care, as it just made him stand up again, looking over the city once again, seeking a flash of red and black. The colours could also be seen as symbol for the fight that ensued in him, his crimson anger pushing against the lightless negativity        . This lack of care was the last straw.

‘NO!’

“Aaaaah!” Chat Gris screamed, holding his head between his hands, as it started aching immensely. Inside, Adrien fought against the darkness and the control of Hawkmoth. Internally gritting his teethes, he shoved, pressed, _pushed_ against his inner enemy, his anger and desperation fuelling his power to do so.

‘There will be no more victims. This ends NOW!’

Chat Gris fell to his knees, the pain in his head becoming unbearable. The agonized screams escaping him made his ears throb, but Adrien would not give up. It was his fault that Marinette was… gone. He had been weak enough to be possessed in the first place and too shocked to fight back immediately. But not anymore.

‘Get out of my HEAD!!!’

 

 

Hawkmoth gasped, the pain between his eyes strong enough to almost make him lose focus. He hadn’t planned for this to happen, but it was the girl’s fault for jumping in the first place. He would not give up now, when he was this close to victory.

If Adrien was really Chat Noir, it should be easy to find out, where the Miraculous was and then he would be halfway to his goal. He was close, so close, _too close_ , to lose control now.

Hawkmoth regained his concentration, the pain subsidising enough to fight his way back into Adrien’s head.

“I am your master. OBEY me!”

 

 

“TIKKIIIIIIII! TRANSFORM MEEEE!” Marinette screamed, as she plummeted down the Eiffel Tower, the ground becoming visible already. The wind that blew into her face made it hard to scream at all, as the words were ripped from her lips the second they were out, becoming almost inaudible.

She had waited a few seconds, to make sure, she was out of sight, before she shouted the magical words. Her Kwami lost no time to follow her order. The transformation seemed to last forever, the ground coming nearer with every second she fell. Marinette’s vivid imagination thought it to be funny to paint a picture of her as a red and black blob on the ground, flat like a 2D-comic figure, which the girl did not find nearly as amusing as it sounded. As soon as she felt her yoyo at her side, she grasped for it desperately, flinging it out towards a beam.

The action must have looked amazing, judging by the many claps and cheers she received from tourists, as she swung a few meters above the ground, but Marinette had no time to response. She had to get back up and rescue her friend.

 

 

Adrien could feel tears running down his face, proof of the immense pain in his head. With all the power he could gather, he forced his hand to move. It felt like an eternity, until he found the pocket, in which the picture was and it needed all his concentration to open it and get his hands on the small square of paper.

He could feel the darkness strengthening inside him, as Hawkmoth fought back, somehow slowly regaining control over his head. Adrien pushed and pushed and _pushed,_ desperately trying to move his hand. He had always known, that Plagg had given him extra strength, physical and mental, but only now did he understand the extent of this missing power. All his fighting was for naught, his whole body trembling, but not moving an inch, frozen mid-action.

He would lose. He would lose control again and who knew what would happen then. Marinette wouldn’t be the only victim if this continued, but there was nothing he could do. He had been depleted before this whole mess with Hawkmoth started and he didn’t do any better now.

Adrien wasn’t strong. The bravado he displayed while being Chat Noir was just that – acted bravery. As time continued, it might have become a bit more than that. With the help of Ladybug, his real confidence had grown stronger by the day and he had started to accept himself more and more, but with everything that had happened in the last two days, he had turned back into the insecure, lonely boy from before.

He couldn’t fight back. He wasn’t powerful. He was just plain, weak, _stupid_ Adrien Agreste, unable to move an inch further. He couldn’t even protect himself, how could he expect to be able to protect others?

 

He really hadn’t learned a damn thing.

Only when he had lost almost all control again, did he see something red flash in his periphery. His eyes widened, when he moved his head and saw a black-dotted figure landing a few meters away from him, recoiling her yoyo.

 ‘Ladybug!’

With this thought, Adrien finally let go, falling back into the cage of his own head, but hope had returned. If Ladybug was here, she would figure things out. She would beat this evil twin of his and make everything okay again.

 ‘Save me, my Lady. Please…’

 

 

Ladybug was surprised to see something – _hope?_ – flash across her partner’s features, a silent plea, a call for help screaming from his eyes, before they returned to their menacing expression. Chat Gris slowly got up, putting something small and black into his pocket, mocking her with his head bent back, looking down on her.

“So you finally decided to fly up here, LB? I am sorry to tell you, my Lady, but there won’t be any nice _chatting_ today.”

She stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes widening. Did… did this Akuma just copy the way, her partner always cracked bad puns in the most impossible of circumstances? Did he really? This was the last straw. There was no way she would let him get away with this.

 “Oh, that’s very _unlucky_ for you, because I am in the mood to play some _cat and mouse_.“

With that, she stepped back and fell.

 

The difference her magic yoyo made was unbelievable. When she had fallen earlier, she had been scared to death, but now she threw the magic device in front of her and swung from one beam to another, as if she did it every day (which was actually a pretty accurate description for her nightly routine, when you thought about it more closely).

She could sense Chat Gris going after her, using his baton the same way that her partner had used it countless times before. Although their actions were similar at the first glance, these executions were more vicious; they didn’t carry the carefree demeanour of her beloved partner.

This resemblance made her angrier than she would have thought. How _dared_ this Akuma, how dared Hawkmoth take possession of her most trusted? He had laid his hands on too many of her friends already, buy her partner was a whole different business. She would make him pay. She would end this quickly. She had to save him.

When she had finally led him to a free space with no civilians that could get caught up in the fight, she let herself to the ground. She found herself on the side of the canal, near the Pont des Arts, differentiated by a fence to keep people away. Perfect.

Turning around, she witnessed how the darkness-coloured baton of Chat Gris shortened, until the boots of said boy touched the grass a few meters away from her, giving her a mocking grin, fuelling her rage.

“Tired of running away? Seems like the cat caught the scarred mouse. I haven’t eaten yet. How about lunch?”

Chat Gris licked his lips, strutted towards her.

Ladybug planted on feet behind her, sinking into a defensive position. She would need to weaken and distract him first, before she could use her Lucky Charm.  

Noticing her change of behaviour and seeing the willingness to fight with everything she got, Chat Gris’ cruel smile only widened. If she wanted it the hard way, she would get it the hard way.

With these thoughts, he lunged at her.

 

 

Any outsider watching their fight would think of it as a fierce, passionate dance. The girl and her partner had battled together for two years. They knew every technique, quirk and move of the other, memorised them unconsciously after having watched them countless times. The boy knew exactly how the young woman would use her yoyo, always ready to deflect the round object flying towards him. In the same way, she always foresaw the employment of his baton, even knowing how he would extent it. Neither of them landed any real hits, parring the attacks of the other apparently without effort. Time stood still around them, no other human there to disrupt them, like being in their personal bubble, detached from reality. They moved around each other almost gracefully, stepping front and back synchronously, as if they executed a routine they had practised countless times before, dancing to some music, only they were able to hear. Their expressions were stern and concentrated, repressing their real emotions as they continued their powerful exercise.

Two people connected by an ancient bond, caught up in a twisted, seemingly endless ball, fate playing a cruel joke on them, neither willing to give up.

Adrien was no outsider. He was directly involved, watching from extreme proximity, without being able to move a muscle of his body on his own. Forced to watch his Lady fight against himself, his desperation grew with every attack the darkness in him executed with only one goal; to hurt the girl in front of it fatally.

Ladybug herself felt assured in her suspicion, that this Akuma was indeed her partner with every second this fight continued. Even though he could have picked up the nicknames from the street, there was no way he could know her fighting style this well by watching from afar only. When Akumas had resembled the heroes before, they always had their own way of battling, enhances by Hawkmoth but this – this screamed of Chat Noir.

With every punch and kick, one more bead of sweat appeared on Ladybug’s forehead. Adrien could see the exhaustion settling in as she was not used to fighting alone. Every time his dark side used one of his signature moves, he hissed internally, pounding with his fist against his mind cage, distressed to do _something._ If he had control over his vocal chords, he would scream his lungs out in frustration. Heck, he would beat up himself in order to protect the woman in front of him.

Chat Gris’ movements became even more aggressive in their execution than before, alternately using his baton, his claws and enhanced boot in an attempt to land a serious hit, forcing Ladybug a few steps back. Adrien could practically hear her gritting her teethes, her hold on her yoyo strengthening.

Just when he thought about how much it killed him, that he was unable to help her, did she slip. The snow from the day before had frozen the grass slightly, making it slithery and hard to keep one’s balance. And Ladybug had just lost the latter and fell forward.

Seeing his chance to finally land an effective strike, the darkness in Adrien made his face contort into an evil smile again, hauling off to punch the back of her exposed neck.

 ‘NO!’

Adrien didn’t think he could have felt any worse than before, but apparently he hadn’t reached rock bottom yet, his feelings becoming something else. They twisted, darkened, until Adrien only saw red.

Fire could only be fought by fire? Fine. He had enough tinder for a lifetime.

His rage, desperation and anger seemed to give Adrien enough strength to regain control over his body. It was only for a few seconds, but it was enough to force himself to drop to his knees, preventing his flat hand from hitting his Lady in a spot, which would damage her greatly.

Ladybug recovered her footing and used the situation to grab the collar of the boy in front of her. The moment she pulled back her own arm in order to finish this fight was the same moment that Adrien lost control again, not being able to hold onto the short-lived, ill-sourced power.

And the darkness in his head knew exactly how to turn this around.

Adrien could feel his fake ears flattening against his black hair, his shoulders falling, the tension leaving his body. His head moved upwards and although he could not see it, he could clearly imagine the fake desperation and hurt that settled itself into his features, his eyes going wide.

 “M-My Lady?”

The stuttered address perfected the act. And to Adrien’s horror – it worked.

Ladybug hesitated.

This was what the darkness had counted on. Striking out his own hand, white sparks emitting from his fingers, Chat Gris slammed his palm into Ladybug’s side. The young woman gasped, her eyes widening immensely, before she crumbled to the ground, her head held between her hands.

A few breathless moments later, she started screaming.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah, the Angst. Still going strong. And even stronger in the next chapter >:D
> 
> Thank you for all your lovely reviews! They are very encouraging! The next update will most likely be next week, because I am gone for a few days. Still, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and see you as soon as possible!
> 
> With love,  
> Azu
> 
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	8. Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone
> 
> After losing his Kwamii (and other sad stuff) Adrien became akumatized. He abducted Marinette, who freed herself and transformed. Battling Ladybug, Chat Gris lands a hit on her.

 

 

 

_How could you seriously believe you could beat him?_

_What power do you hold? What kind of ridiculous self-confidence made you believe, that you actually had a chance?_

 ‘No. I am Ladybug. I-‘

_But what are you without the mask? You don’t hold any strength by yourself, always relying on others to help you and sacrifice themselves for you. There’s nothing you could do on your own._

 ‘Stop. That’s not-‘

_You really think you matter to others? Pathetic. You are weak. You are worth nothing. You_ are _nothing._

“Stop! Please… please stop…!”

Ladybug shouted the last words, her fingers gauging themselves into her temples, leaving red streaks. The voice in her head continued, taunting her, mocking her, making her relieve all the negative feelings she had felt, when she had first become Ladybug, only ten times as strong. She could feel something hot and wet stinging her eyes, tears streaming over her cheeks as the pain between her eyes intensified, until it became unbearable – and she screamed.

She screamed until her voice became too weak to continue, her pain expressing itself through her breath, unsteady and increasing in pace, on the verge of hyperventilating. The whispers in her head became louder and louder, the words more poisonous by the second, until she thought she would finally pass out from the pressure.

“Enough… please… just- just stop…”

She could hear a cold laugh, void of its usual warmth above her. Although she had shut her eyes, she could sense Chat Gris leaning down to her, taking her chin into his hand, pulling her face close to his. She could feel his breath on her nose, the stench of darkness almost making her vomit, his grip making it impossible to turn away.

“Pathetic. And the people of Paris really depend on you to protect them? They have to be stupid to do so.”

_You are weak. You are unable to protect yourself, how could you possibly protect a whole city? Pathetic. Weak. Unworthy. Nothing._

_You are nothing._

A sob escaped her lips. The voice was right. She hadn’t been able to protect herself. She hadn’t been able to protect Alya back then, when she had been injured by Stone Heart. Heck, she hadn’t even been able to do anything to help Adrien.

She _was_ weak. She was unable to help anyone. How could she have believed that she had deserved her powers? She was nothing. Nothing.

_Nothing._

Chat Gris sensed that she was on the brink of breaking. The sneer returned to his face, his hand wandering towards the side of her head, reaching for her earlobes.

Ladybugs hands had left her temples and instead dug themselves into the ground in front of her. She could feel Chat Gris’ hand wander towards her earrings, his fingers brushing her cheeks slightly, but was unable to stop him from continuing. She had no reason to fight. So why bother defending herself in the first place? Let him take her Miraculous. It might stop her pain.

She could feel him leaning forwards, his breath fluttering over her ear conch, as he whispered into it.

“You will never be able to save Chat Noir.”

Ladybug’s eyes sprang open. The face from before flashed in front of her eyes, the short moment when he had been able to regain control and tell her without words, that he was counting on her, pleading for her to save him.

Chat needed her. She was the only one who could purify the evil Akuma.

Slowly, but surely, her concentration returned. With a great deal of effort, she evened her breath, pushing away the voice in her head, until it was nothing more than a faint whisper in the back of her mind, her hands unclenched themselves and she inhaled deeply.

Her opponent responded to her change of behaviour, his hand stopping dead directly in front of her earrings.

“No… you shouldn’t be able to break free… this is impossible, my cataclysm…!”

He was unable to finish his sentence, as Ladybug raised her hands and pushed him away, making him perform an involuntary somersault, confusing him for a few seconds.

This was all the time Ladybug needed. Throwing her yoyo in the air, she desperately shouted the spell that would grant her one item to help her win this fight.

 “Lucky Charm!”

What she received in return – was an aerosol can, filled with cold water.

Usually she would allow herself to wonder aloud, how in the world something like this would be able to help her, but there was no time for this. Instead she looked around quickly, a plan forming in her mind, waiting to be executed.

Meanwhile Chat Gris had regained his posture, pushing himself up from the ground, a mad expression featured on his face, his red eyes gleaming with malice.

 “You are going to regret that!”

He lunged at her. This was exactly what Ladybug had expected. She waited until he was in her shooting range, before lifting the bottle in her hands and spraying the face of her opponent, alongside with the ground in front of him.

As expected, he closed his eyes in order to evade the water, hissing while doing so, unable to prevent himself from slipping in the wet grass.

Hitting his head on the ground, he was dazed for a few seconds. Using this opportunity, Ladybug jumped on him. She remembered the black piece of paper he had put in his pocket earlier, taking it out of said space.

Ladybug lost no time tearing the picture apart, holding the pieces in her hand.

 “It is over, Chat Gris. You are never going to make anyone cry ever again.”

The boy in front of her screamed in frustration, when she caught the little black butterfly, that tried to escape into the open sky, with her yoyo, purifying it with her usual catch phrase. After letting its pure form free again, she snatched up the aerosol can from before and threw it into the air.

 “Miraculous Ladybug!”

The usual read light emitted from the object, spreading out in every direction to heal the victims of the Akuma attack. When it returned, it wrapped itself around the boy on the ground once, before it disappeared. Silence ensued.

Black light started rolling up from his feet, fading into the air, revealing orange sneakers under jeans. Ladybug was unable to avert her gaze, when a familiar black tee under an open white shirt appeared, until Chat Gris’ hair turned blonde and his face finally lost his mask.

Ladybug – no, Marinette gasped in shock, as she stared at the unconscious form of her classmate, her secret crush, at the person behind the mask of her most trusted partner.

 ‘No… this can’t be…’

Where only seconds ago Chat Gris had lain, the akumatized version of Chat Noir, was now no one else than Adrien Agreste.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wuhu, I am back in my home country :D
> 
> I had a wonderful time in London with my friend, but I am glad to be home again. So here's the newest chapter. Angst much? Angst much. Because I love you all :D
> 
> Love!  
> Azu


	9. Confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone:
> 
> A desperate Adrien got akumatized into Chat Gris after losing his Kwamii. He was defeated by Ladybug, after revealing that he is Chat Noir and Ladybug found out who he is behind the mask.

 

 

 

The next time Adrien tried to open his eyes, they stared at nothing.

Confused at first, he eventually understood, that there wasn’t anything wrong with his eyes, but rather that he had awoken in a dark room.

Before he could continue to explore his surroundings, a stabbing pain in the back of his mind hindered him from doing so. Groaning he immediately tried to massage the ache away with little success. His head was a battle field of thoughts, one blurry picture chasing the next, none of them clear enough to understand and when he tried, his headache only got worse.

Adrien could hear a door being opened and his eyelids went orange. Somebody had entered the room.

“Oh thank God, you are awake.”

Without having to look, he recognized the voice of the baker’s daughter and it somehow helped him calm down. The images in his head were still fuzzy and incomprehensible, but he was at least safe with Marinette. For some reason, he couldn’t recall what had happened since Nathalie had found him, but the knowledge, that he hadn’t been forced to return to the Agreste mansion was an indescribable relief. 

When he thought that the pain had subsidised enough for him to open his eyes, he immediately caught her concerned gaze.

And everything came crushing down on him again. 

Adrien gasped, his hands fisting themselves into his hair, pulling at it harshly as everything that happened came back to him in a flood of information, too much to comprehend.

“Adrien?”

He could feel a hand on his shoulder but was too distracted to respond, his eyes shut close.

Nathalie. The Akuma. The fight with Ladybug. The photo of his mother. Marinette falling down from the Eiffel Tower.

_Marinette!_

Adrien’s eyes snapped open again, staring intensely at the girl in front of him, which had withdrawn her hand at his gesture. His gaze wandered from her face, over her neck to the rest of her body, searching for some kind of injury, bruise, _anything_. Going up again, he noticed a slight red skin irritation on her neck, but otherwise she did not seem to be harmed.

Short-tempered relieve washed over him, making his whole body relax in an instant. Without any power to hold him up, he let himself fall forward, his forehead leaning against Marinette’s stomach.

“A-Adrien?”

  
The young boy forgot all his good manners and politeness and instead even wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close in silence, before he murmured against her shirt.

“I am so glad, that you are okay.”

Marinette blushed even more than before (if that was physically possible). Was this really happening? To her? She raised an unsure hand, petting the top of his head clumsily, which Adrien responded to by digging his fingernails into the small of her back, his arms still encircling her.

He was embarrassed that he had to physically keep himself from purring from the touch, but settled instead with taking deep breaths, inhaling Marinette’s odour, a mixture of freshly baked bread, calendula and raspberries. When he had still had the powers of Chat Noir, he had often been overwhelmed by the smells of his environment, enhanced by his cat senses, sometimes to the point of headaches. The only exception had been – who else? – his Lady, but he could never really put a finger on what she scented like, so this was the first time Adrien could actually enjoy the company of another person with his nose as well, now that he didn’t pick up the odours as strongly as before. He tried to take a lungful without it sounding like sniffing, which proved more difficult than thought. Hopefully she was too distracted with stroking his hair that she didn’t hear him.

After a few more moments in silence, Adrien finally forced himself to pull away, lowering his head in order to hide his face, but she could have sworn, that his cheeks were slightly tinted red. Maybe an optical illusion created by the light of the room? Unsure what to do with the uncomfortable stillness of the air, Marinette started talking.

“Ladybug caught me, before I could have been hurt.”

A small nod from Adrien.

“She also alerted me after everything was over and helped me to get you here.”

Another nod. He took a quick look around, taking in the small, but – like the rest of the furniture and the family itself – warm guest room of the Dupain-Cheng house, noticing the flocks of ice slamming against the windows, before becoming very still again. Marinette hesitated at her next words.

 “Nathalie…”

Adrien’s head shot up, his whole body turning stiff again, his hands balling themselves to fists, shaking ever so slightly. Marinette was shocked at the fear in the boy’s eyes. She knew that he wanted to avoid going home, but she wasn’t aware of the extent of his reluctance to go back to his father. What had happened between them that triggered such a reaction? She continued quickly, hoping that her words might calm him down.

“My parents were able to convince her to let you stay with us for a time, because there would be no use in forcing you to come home. After some discussion, she gave in and even brought a bag full of clothes and other stuff from your room a few hours ago. Your father has been notified.”

Adrien needed some time to grasp the meaning behind her words. When he finally did, he released the breath he had been holding unconsciously, all of the tension leaving his muscles, his whole body sinking in itself, his head falling once again into his hands, so she was unable to see his expression.

“Thank you.”

The words were so faint, they were hard to make out, but Marinette understood them very clearly, alongside with the mixture of feelings they came with. Nodding, she set down the glass of water with the pain killer she had been holding in one hand the whole time on the bedside table. At a loss, what she should do now, she wished him a good night, before leaving the room.

 

 

Marinette slid down the wallpaper next to the door she had just closed behind her, aware of the boy on the other side of the wall, the latter one the only thing separating them at the moment.  

She was mad.

She was mad at Chat Gris for almost killing her back at the Eiffel Tower. She was mad at Hawkmoth for exploiting Adrien’s terrible situation and allegedly even making it worse. She was mad at Gabriel Agreste for putting his son in this situation in the first place.

But first and foremost, she was mad at herself.

Mad, that she had allowed the Akuma to capture her. Mad, that she had almost messed up in the fight as Ladybug. Mad, that she had almost lost her most trusted partner and secret love in one day.

What infuriated her most by far was her own incompetence. The voice from before had been partially right. She was indeed unable to help anyone, neither Chat Noir, nor Adrien. Both of them had counted on her to save them and she had almost screwed up. Even now she was frozen by insecurity, not knowing how to handle the new situation.

Adrien was Chat Noir. Chat Noir was Adrien.

Her crush for almost two years was the same boy she had forbidden herself to love in the first place, a resolution that had started crumbling more and more over time.

Marinette was still unable to grasp the setting. Although her head now knew, that the two young men were one and the same, her heart refused to overlap the two images, keeping them separate. It was frustrating.

She had wanted to help Adrien back in the room, she wanted to cheer him up, make him smile again and ensure him that everything was okay again but after everything that had happened, it felt like a cold-out lie to pretend that it was fine.

The whole disaster was everything _but_ fine.

Her partner, her most trusted had been akumatized. The only explanation for that was that he had lost his powers, otherwise it should have been impossible for Hawkmoth to invade his mind in the first place.

So what had happened to the powers of Chat Noir?

This was terrible. Tikki had told her that Hawkmoth heard and saw everything his champions did and if this was true, he knew about Chat’s real identity. It would be so much easier for him to attack him in his civilian form, even more now, because Adrien was unable to transform and defend himself.

Thinking about it all let the exhaustion she had repressed until now finally wash over her, making her sigh, her body sliding down all the way to the carpet. It was the middle of the night, she had waited in front of the room for hours until she had heard him wake up. Her whole body hurt, the Miraculous Light taking most of the pain away as usual but today had been rougher than ever before.

There was no use in her _losing her mind_ over this. She needed to keep a clear head, not only for herself, but also for Adrien and Chat Noir, still unable to see them as one and the same.

Marinette doubted that Hawkmoth would try something immediately, especially because there was no reason for him to know about Adrien’s current location. She would call it a day and deal with all of this in the morning. She would most likely skip school in order to keep Adrien company in this difficult time, but that was a sacrifice she was willing to make. There were more important matters at hand than studying, especially when Christmas break was so close. She could bear having to catch up on a day or two in order to help her friend. Or as it seemed now, something more than a mere friend.

With the resolution, that everything would look different after a good night’s sleep, she made her way up her room.

Marinette was so busy thinking about the negative sides of this revelation that she never even realized, that this solved at least the problem of her criss-crossed love. But this was an issue that would need more time to be addressed properly.

 

 

Like a mirror, the boy in the other side also thought about the day, squinting his eyes in frustration.

Had he thought that he could remember everything before, did he only realize now that there were huge gaps in his memory. A few scenes were clear as pictures in his head, like the fall of Marinette or his fight for dominance in his head on the Eiffel Tower. He could also remember gaining control for a few seconds in the fight against Ladybug, but that was it. Most of the other images were blurred and rippled, like the surface of a lake after someone threw a stone into it, this someone the only one who knew what it looked like before and this someone was the darkness in his head.

It was still there.

Adrien could feel it lingering in the back of his mind, brooding, dormant but nor completely knocked out and for some reason he could suddenly say with one hundred percent certainty that it had been there all along, since his mother died. Only now, that he knew how it felt without this blackness dominating in his body, because being Chat Noir had pushed it back in order to be replaced by light – only now did he realize, how strong it truly was.

_You lost your mother, now you lost your home. You almost hurt two of your friends. Why keep trying? It’s so much easier to just give in._

Now that he was alone again, he could hear it again, whispering, hissing in his head, faint, but still loud enough to be heard clearly.

_All this pain? All this frustration? All this anger? Stop fighting it and start embracing it. You could be so powerful. More powerful than Chat Noir, more powerful than Ladybug even._

Adrien twitched with his neck, cocking his head to the side, closing his eyes in order to try and shut out the words, without success. His hand balled themselves into fists again, the base of his palms pressing themselves against his ears, his nails scraping almost painfully into his skin, a faint plead escaping his gritted teeth.

“Stop…”

_Don’t you want it all to stop? For everybody to shut up? All the noise, the pitiful looks, the whispered sympathy._

“Please… enough.”

Adrien groaned, falling to the side and burying his head in the pillow, asking for the voice in his head to cease from talking, his fingers pulling at his hair, yearning, hoping, angling for the pain to repress the words. It only made it worse.

_They don’t care about you. They only see the handsome model with the sad backstory, who has lost his mom. They don’t see you. Show them the real you – the dark you._

“I said ENOUGH!”

_Crash._

Adrien heard the glass shatter against the wall, before he actually realized, what had happened. When he stopped seeing magenta, the view clearing, the boy could make out the glassware that Marinette had brought in, scattered on the floor in shards, a wet stain marking the spot it had hit the opposite wall.

He cursed under his breath, kneeling down in order to pick up the pieces, reaching for them with both of his hand, when he hissed and saw red again, but this time literally.

He watched the blood running from his palms, slowly, menacing, mocking, dropping from his skin to the carpet of the room, spreading there, like ink on the white underground, the colour triggering.

And Adrien could feel something stir inside him. Something was waking up.

Again.

_No-_

 

 

Plagg did not know what woke him that night. Not, because there was no reason, but rather because there were too many to decide on one.

Was it the nightmare about previous Chat Noirs, cursed, plagued, broken, unable to ever experience true love? Was it the hollow feeling in his chest, the gaping hole, void of the warmth it used to be filled with while he had been with Adrien? Was it the frosty cold of the Eiffel Tower, only barely repelled by the piece of newspaper that the wind had brought?

For some reason, Plagg had the feeling that none of these caused him to open his eyes in this particular second. Shivering heavily, crawling out of his makeshift paper sleeping bed, the Kwami had to gather all his mental strength to open his eyes.

It was the middle of the night, the city lightened up by the warm light of street lamps, by people staying up late with their loved ones in front of their fire places, latter emitting a faint glow through the windows. The Eiffel Tower itself was illuminated, attracting late-night tourists and love birds, cuddling under its frame. All of this stood in stark contrast to the little cat-like being, worsening his mood even more, if that was possible.

But this still wasn’t the cause of his unrest. Plagg tried to block out all of the unnecessary sounds – cars, music bars, laughter – and concentrated on finding something out of the ordinary. After only a few seconds, his enhanced senses picked up something.

… Weeping?

Plagg rubbed at his eyes, trying to clear them of their drowsiness, although he hadn’t gotten any good sleep. Concentrating a bit more, the small cat visualized his whiskers growing, lengthening, stretching, spreading in all directions, picking up signals that would be impossible to hear for any other being. In his mind, every time something disturbed the strings on their way, they would vibrate in his mind, giving him feedback, but none of it seemed to mean anything, his head blocking it out immediately, in order to sieve out the unimportant information. It took quiet some mental commitment to do so, Plagg could feel energy flowing out from him, like a burst bag of water. Just when he decided to believe that it had only been his imagination, did his senses pick it up again. It was there again. It was familiar. It was wrong. Very, very wrong.

He knew this voice. How could he have not recognized it immediately? Now that he knew what was going on, Plagg realized what had woken him.

The bond was still there.

It hadn’t been the actual sounds the boy emitted out there somewhere, desperate, lonely, crying, but rather the _feeling_ of something being wrong with his protégé, that had ended his sleep. All of his imaginary whiskers seemed to gather around the sound, visualizing the bond he could feel in an auditory way, blocking out all of the other noises, until there were only sobs filling his head, every corner, reviving all the memories he had tried to repress in order to stay sane. He didn’t need to see anything; his mind was creative enough to paint a cruel picture of a huddled body, shaking of coldness and desperation, with no one to help, to talk to or just to be with; tears streaming out of red eyes; shallow breaths.

How… how could this be? He had left him in order to protect him from grief, to give him a better chance at life, but Adrien…

His gaze wandered to the ring he had brought with him, wedged in the corner of a beam so it wouldn’t fall down or be blown away. Something stung in Plagg’s eyes, dropping from his lashes onto his fisted paws. A few hundred years before, he would have wondered what was going on, but after having lived with humans for this long, he understood this novel sensation very clearly.

He was crying.

In all his life, after having lost boy after boy, breaking one Chat Noir after the other, cursing his protégés with his eternal bad luck, Plagg had _never_ cried. He had numbed himself to these kinds of emotions as a mean for self-protection, to not lose his mind every time the inevitable happened. But Adrien…

Adrien was the straw that broke the cat’s back. Adrien was too much.

The sobs from the boy were now accompanied by his own, the silent howls in his head eventually drowning everything else, caging him in his own mind, without any possibility to escape.

 

If you had been able to climb the Eiffel Tower all the way to the top on the night of the last Thursday before Christmas and if you had been in possession of extraordinary eyesight, you might have found a newspaper on one of the upper beams, talking about the last Ladybug sighting the day before. If you had come any closer, you might have been able to see the small black feline being wrapped up inside, tears streaming from his eyes, his shaking paws pressed up against his ears, flattening them against his head, his whole body trembling, the reason for you unknown. If you had taken a better look, you might have even realized that this was no normal tomcat, but something different, something magical, radiating the power of a centuries old entity, concentrated in a tiny body.

And if you had been able to come close enough to see all of that – you would have been close enough to hear him scream.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet all of you thought: Ooooh, a little bit of fluff, without much angst.
> 
> Well, you thought WRONG. Muhahahaha (I am so evil.)
> 
> I have no idea how many times I edited that chapter. Still not completely satisfied, but much more than with the first draft. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! The next chapter will be up next week, because I am freaking busy planing our graduation concert. See you then!
> 
> With very much love  
> Azu
> 
> http://azuwrites.tumblr.com/


	10. Missed

 

It felt like déjà-vue.

Swinging over the roofs of Paris; occasionally slipping on the iced ground; frantically searching for one of the most important persons in her life.

Only that she was looking for two of them at the same time now.

Ladybug hadn’t appreciated the clear sight she had had the night before. Now, a snow storm had hit Paris, thick flocks falling from the sky, the wind giving them enough momentum for the ice to hurt when they hit the exposed skin on her face.

“Fudge Flip! Where is he? He’s going to freeze to death if I don’t find him soon!”

Ladybug’s own words scared her. Adrien was in no physical condition to stay outside for long. She hadn’t been the only one to notice his thin complexion, greatly visible on his wrists, if the fact that her mother had continuously encouraged him to take seconds was any indication. When she had found him the day before, he had been badly hypothermic, but with this storm raging now – the clock was ticking and she had no idea where to start.

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

Ladybug had no idea how long Adrien had been gone. She had woken up about an hour after she had last seen him, a bad feeling urging her to check on him again. When she had taken a shy glance into the room, it would be a harsh understatement to say that she was shocked when she found the room void of human life, the window wide open, ice having piled on the floor already.

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

After half an hour of frantic search, she finally came to a stop, trying to even her ragged breath. There was no use in running around without any idea where to look specifically, she needed some kind of clue on where to look. She cursed herself for not knowing enough about the young boy to be able to think of a place where he would go when distressed. Sure, she had become friends with Adrien over the past two years, but she had always been too shy to ask personal questions, now damning herself for that.

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

Pondering about how she could find Adrien, she suddenly had a thought.

She wasn’t just looking for Adrien. She was looking for Chat Noir as well. And having spent two years running around Paris with the black cat, she knew exactly where he would go when he felt down.

Taking a run-up, Ladybug flung herself from the roof she was standing on, thrusting out the yoyo in her hand. Time was running out – she needed to find him _now._

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

Gabriel Agreste stared up at the painting of his wife.

His statue was perfect, his hands folded behind his back, his back straight, his face betraying no emotion but business-like interest. If you were to watch him from the outside, you might think the picture in front of him represented a stranger to him, as if it was a piece in a museum he was forced to go to, only showing mild concern for the piece of art, not really thinking much about it.

A piece of art, he had been staring at for hours. It was already past midnight.

Gabriel Agreste was not calm. He was on the verge of losing it. Yesterday had been too much. First, his son refusing to come home, bringing shame over the family name. Then, his akumatization and his confession.

Adrien was Chat Noir.

In the spur of the moment, Gabriel had been too caught off guard to think about it closely, just seeing a chance at getting closer to his goal. But now that he could think about it clearly did he understand the dimension of the last battle.

Nooroo had once told him that you could not akumatize a Miraculous Holder, yet he had been able to possess Adrien. And that left only one possible explanation.

Adrien had lost his Miraculous.

How could this have happened? Was this the reason why he had run away? Where was his Miraculous?

After having stood in one position for hours on end, the fashion designer finally allowed himself to move, sighting as he laid a hand on the fabric in front of him.

“Aderyn…”

It had all gone downhill since she had died. To hide his pain, he had become obsessed with his work, therefore neglecting his relationship with his son, something, that could not be easily rebuilt. Something that could be only made okay through one option.

Forcing his gaze to leave the painting, he strode out his office, pushing any unnecessary thoughts out of his mind.

Aderyn had to come back. And he would be the one to bring her home.

 

 

 

Adrien had stopped shivering a few minutes ago. He didn’t feel the cold anymore, it had been replaced by strange warmth, unexpected, but he wouldn’t say unpleasant. The voices in his head had gone quiet as well, substituted by screaming silence, louder than the whispered guilt.

He had no idea where his legs had taken him – again – until he had been already there. He could have known that he would end up here, seeing that this wasn’t the first time.

Although the tree provided him with at least some kind of shelter from the wind, the cold had still seeped through his clothes, but it didn’t bother him. The boy was too busy swelling in memories to notice his surroundings, eyes fixated at the sight in front of him.

The storm of ice made it hard to make out the city in front of him, but he had been up here uncountable times – he didn’t need to see anything to know how the scenery looked. He had seen the city at every time of the year and day, directly like this but often through the artistic eyes of his mother.

She had come here often with him when he had been a child. They had loved this small hill in the middle of the busy city, cuddled together in their own personal bubble, his mother sketching the city in a way that only she could experience. The basic concept was always the same; the view of the houses and stores from this hill, but the rest was never the same. Once she drew dragons taking over the city; another time, she would add hundreds of flying lanterns illuminating the dark or the earth splitting in two, swallowing half of the houses. There would always be a story to accompany her incredible sketches, about fearless fairies, crying warriors or hungry monsters, going after naughty children.

All of this had been before she had fallen sick.

Despite her physical weakness, he clearly remembered the last time she had gone up here with him, only a few days before she had passed on. They had taken longer than usual to come up, but as soon as they had positioned themselves on an under multiple blankets to protect themselves against winter’s cold, it had almost felt like everything was okay, as if nothing had changed, as if this moment would never end.

Too weak to draw, she had taken him into her arms, holding him close to her slowly beating heart, as she painted pictures into the air with her stories, one more beautiful than the other, vibrant, full of live, full of _love_ , Adrien remembering most of them, almost hearing her voice as she recounted them.

But she wasn’t here anymore.

And she was never going to be.

Adrien barely felt the tears flowing down his cheeks, mixing immediately with the frozen flocks of water, the liquid freezing on his skin. His eyes slowly dropped close, his lids feeling like the weight of the word hung on them, his breath slowing steadily.

He was so tired. The last few days had been so overwhelming, so exhausting. Energy seeped from his body like water flowing out from a burst balloon.

Just a few minutes. He needed to close his eyes for just a few minutes, then he would be able to fight everything and anything that stood in his way, but first… sleep.

With a shallow breath, Adrien’s lid fell close.

 

 

Ladybug could hear the time running out, curses slipping out between her lips as she flew between buildings, taking far too many risks to travel safe, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about safety or image, all she cared about was reaching that hill Chat Noir would often go to, when he needed a break.

The first time she had discovered him, it had been a coincidence.

She had been on her way home from her interview with Alya, taking a detour to enjoy the warm summer evening, when she had stopped on the small hill, using the slight uprising to gaze at the city, when a familiar voice behind her had startled her.

Chat Noir had told her that he had a personal connection to this place, but never went into detail. When his other life became too stressful, he sometimes came here to calm down, to remind himself of his powers. It had been the first time Ladybug had gotten the impression that his other life wasn’t as easy as his personality suggested, but rather far more restricted than she would have ever guessed.

Now that she knew the face behind the mask, she couldn’t claim that she fully understood, but she knew enough about his daily life as a model, that she could imagine, how bad it must be.

Ladybug almost slipped twice when she hadn’t concentrated on her yoyo. Gritting her teethes, she still increased her space, knowing that the hill was almost around the corner. The snow continued to obstruct her view, so it was only when she stood directly under the tree on the hill that she could make out the shadow of a person, unmoving, eyes closed.

Falling onto her knees, she grasped for his face, frantically searching for an intake of air, a beat of a heart, a flutter of an eyelid – _anything._

The young girl was on the verge of breaking, when she could finally make out a faint heartbeat at his throat – weak, but _there._

And that was everything that mattered. Chat Noir – Adrien – her most trusted was alive.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god.
> 
> I am so sorry. My laptop charger broke a few days after I released the last chapter and since then with my graduation and my vacation with my friend I went to the electronics shop three times, until they could finally give me the charger I needed. I got it today and rushed to write this chapter, not one of my best, but well...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, sorry again for the long break, I will not abandon this story. See you soon and leave a review!
> 
> With even more love than usual (as I now have my A-levels :D)  
> Azu
> 
> PS: Credit to Ladybug's curse goes to the wonderful AmyNChan who never fails to leave a comment ;)
> 
> azuwrites.tumblr.com


	11. Dreamed

 

 

Marinette experienced déjà-vue.

Having found Adrien, she had once again brought him into her room, as she had forgotten to close the window of the guest room, making it an ice cave.

She had assembled all of the blankets she had found in the house without waking her parents, throwing them over him, her mobile heater on full power, the hot beverages ready to be used if needed.

For the moment, Adrien was still asleep. Thankfully he had started shivering again as soon as she had brought him into her room, his breath ragged, but finally audible again. All of that had been two hours ago and Marinette had not moved an inch since she had set everything in place.

Now, his face was peaceful once again, some sweat drops running down his temples, but his body temperature had risen once again.

Once again she was reminded of the situation at hand. It hadn’t only been Adrien who had been in danger – no, it had been her most trusted one as well. If she had lost them both… she didn’t know what to do. She would have been broken. Broken and unrepairable.

Anger rose in her chest, spreading like a wild fire in her body.

How dared he? How dared Hawkmoth to do this to him? Not only had he almost killed her at the Eiffel Tower, he had brought harm to her beloved. And for that he would pay.

Her mind was racing, depicting each and every scenario on how she would make this bastard repent for his sins, one more gruesome than the other. Marinette hadn’t even realized what she was doing, until she felt something touching her free hand.

Looking down, she was met by a big pair pf blue eyes, wide open. They weren’t really scolding, but Marinette knew that her Kwami knew exactly what was going on. Closing her eyes, she pushed all the thoughts away, until her mind was completely empty, a blank paper. She would deal with all of that later.

When an ambulance drove by, Marinette gave a start, before breathing deeply to calm herself again. She hadn’t cared to breathe deeply in the last few hours, exhaustion washing over her at the thought. A sigh escaped into the dark room. Only when she had decided to call it a day, that Adrien wouldn’t wake up or get better by her staring at him, she noticed him shifting. Was he having a nightmare again?

Out of reflex, she did the first thing that came to her mind; she put her hand on his cheek, her thumb lightly brushing against his – thankfully – warm skin. She didn’t flinch when he reached for her hand, pressing it against himself, but she did gasp when his eyes fluttered, before they opened half-way, flitting around the room, before they settled on her. Sleep was still thick in them, the colour dampened and darker than usual, as he blinked slowly, before whispering with a weak voice.

“My Lady?”

Marinette froze. As it seemed, he wasn’t fully awake, not realizing that it was her other persona sitting in front of him and that he wasn’t in a suit, but she didn’t know if it was safe to confuse him, as that might wake him up. Gulping she decided to go along with it.

“Yes, Ch-chat, it’s me. You have been hurt badly, you were out for too long in the cold. Are you alright?”

Adrien furrowed his eyebrows at her question, nodding slowly before shaking his head vehemently, pressing her hand even more against his cheek.

“No, I-I had a dream. A bad dream. Y-yesterday.”

Marinette gulped once again. She clearly remembered his distressed state the night before as he had thrown himself around, fighting against some monsters in his head, before being pulled out by her.

“A bad dream, huh? What was it about?”

Adrien closed his eyes, biting on his lip. He seemed as if he was about to cry, as he recalled the images from the night before. Shifting slightly, he came into a sitting position, Marinette rising on her knees to keep eye-contact. As soon as he opened his eyes again, they stared at her intently, still clouded, but focused in a strange way. His voice was barely audible, trembling horribly.

“I had lost you.”

Marinette stopped breathing at the wave of hurt and desperation that came along with the words, her eyes flying open. He was afraid, that he would lose her? How? In a fight or somehow else? This would never happen! And she would tell him that.

“Chat, that’s-“

Before she could end her sentence, his hands suddenly reached for her, grabbing her by the shoulders, before pulling her to him, almost crashing her into his chest, as he held her tight, his fingers clawing into the fabric of her pyjama.

“Chat, what-“

“I had lost you!”

Adrien suddenly started shouting, his grip getting tighter with each word, barely breathing between the sentences.

“I had lost you! There was darkness and water and pain and noise and you were there, I could see you, you were right _there_ and you were in danger and every time I tried to get to you, I was sucked in and then you were gone and I was shouting your name but you were gone, you were _gone_ and I had _lost_ you!”

Marinette could feel something wet and hot against her neck, her hands wrapping around his torso to keep them uptight, as Adrien was pushing her backwards. Her hands drew soothing circles on his back, as he whimpered into her shoulders, his whole body shaking. She was sure that his nails would leave bruises on her back, but she didn’t care about that at the moment. Her only focus was on calming the broken boy in front of her.

“Shhh, Chat, it’s okay. It’s okay, I am here and you’ll never loose me.”

As she said those sentences, she realized how much truth there were behind them, surprising herself a bit even. Even though the reveal had shocked her at first and made her unsure on what to do, she knew with all of her heart that this would not weaken the bonds she had built to the two boys – no, she would work even harder to strengthen them. Even if it would never work out between her and Adrien – she would do everything in her power to be there for him; regardless of him wearing a mask or not.

At that thought she could feel her own eyes wetting. Her grip around him strengthened as well, pressing her face into his shoulder. All of the feelings she had supressed herself in order to stay strong without break came crushing down on her, suffocating her, the air becoming hard to suck in and the only antidote was the certainty, that she wasn’t alone; that she hadn’t lost the thing she couldn’t afford to lose.

“You will never lose me. And I-I will never lose you. I won’t. I will never. You’re safe. We’re safe.”

Adrien seemed to relax slowly, the whimpering becoming quieter with each passing minute. She didn’t know how long they held onto each other, losing any sense of time, as her eyes started feeling heavier. The adrenalin in her body had left her ages ago, leaving her completely drained of energy. With her last strength, she pushed herself and Adrien up, laying himself back on the long chair, letting herself fall next to him, not wanting to climb the stairs to her bed or leave his side. They shifted their arms slightly to find a comfortable position, but didn’t let go of each other. Never again.

Soon after, the sound of slow breathing was filling the room, the silence only shortly broken by a small whisper.

“You found me…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst is still going strong :D You have no idea what is coming for you. Not really satisfied with this chapter, but I didn't want to let you wait any longer. 
> 
> I will try to keep up a weekly updating schedule from now on. 
> 
> With so much love I don't even know where to put it :D  
> Azu
> 
> azuwrites.tumblr.co


	12. Balanced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone
> 
> Overwhelmed once more by the darkness within, Adrien fled from Marinette's house, while the girl battled with her confusion. Ladybug found him and brought him home.

 

Marinette had convinced Adrien to stay home that Friday.

It was the last school day before Christmas Break, so they wouldn’t miss anything important. She had told her parents, that Adrien had caught a cold and that she would rather stay with him to look after the boy, her parents agreeing. So while they were busy downstairs with the customers of the bakery, Marinette sat on the floor in front of her lounge chair, staring intently at the boy in front of her.

He was still fast asleep, his hands holding firmly onto the blanket to keep it from slipping off him, but otherwise peaceful.

Marinette had woken up unusually early that morning and had since then thought about what had happened in the course of the last 36 hours. She neither had the time nor capacity to process everything that she had learned and was now trying to wrap her head around it.

Thinking back it all made _sense._ Why Adrien never seemed to be around at the same time, as Chat Noir – the way he had freaked out when they had fought Jackadit, as it was clear to her now, that it was his father’s life, that had been at risk – that eerie feeling of familiarity when he laughed. His eyes, his demeanour, his everything – now that she knew, she could see the Adrien behind each of his actions. Sure, the way Chat held himself was an exaggerated version of Adrien, but now that she knew his restricting background, it made sense, as to why he used his alter ego to express himself more openly. But behind it all was the same person – the same bravery, selflessness, stupidity and first and foremost – the same kindness.

The same kindness she had fallen in love with twice.

Marinette let out a groan, burying her head in her hands. This was not the time to think about her having had crushes on both of his identities. She would deal with that later – when all of this was over.

If Chat had lost his powers, thus making him accessible to be akumatized, his Kwami must have been lost or something along those lines. But then where the heck was he? How had it happened?

Everything was just so complicated! Hawkmoth knew Chat’s read identity, making him an easy target – having to fight an akuma had proven very difficult without her partner, making her fear the next encounter with one – and something was still going on with Adrien. She could feel that something was off, besides all of the stuff with his Kwami and his family, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Marinette? Are you alright?”

Glancing down, she found that Tikki was looking up to her, her hand lying on her thigh, her big eyes blown wide, showing concern over her Chosen. Marinette smiled down at her to calm her, when an idea came to her.

“Say, Tikki. Do you have an idea what could have happened to Chat’s Kwami? Why has he lost his powers?”

Something incredible sad seemed to enter the small being’s look. Staring at the floor, she hoovered up to Marinette’s face and started explaining.

“You know how I told you that you and Chat are opposites when it comes to your powers?”

“Yes, you said something like that in the beginning”, Marinette frowned, trying to recall what she had been told a few years ago, “as I have the power of Creation with my Lucky Charm, he has the power of Destruction with his Cataclysm.”

“Yes, but that is not all. Ladybug has always been a sign for Luck, whereas black cats represent the opposite. You may have noticed some changes in your life since you have become Ladybug.”

Thinking back, Marinette had to agree with that. She thought about the time she had participated in a draw and won the prize, or how that one big test, she hadn’t had time to study for, had featured all of the stuff she had looked up just minutes before in her textbook. In general, she had had less involuntarily meetings with street lamps and had become less clumsy (a bit of clumsiness still followed her, but the luck of the world combined wouldn’t be able to stop that).

“But as you two are opposites, Chat Noir is followed by bad luck. Most of the times it’s nothing drastic, but in his past lives, this bad luck had some kind of lasting impact one way or another – very, very bad impact.”

Tikki had gone quiet at those last few words, gulping, avoiding Marinette’s eyes.

“Missed chances at love, lost loved ones, terrible accidents that left them wounded for years. His bad luck is not really the cause, but much more an amplifier. We all have bad things happen to us – with Chat Noir, it’s just that his problems are worse than usual. I know that Plagg had always beaten himself up for this and maybe – maybe this time he couldn’t take it anymore.”

Tikki’s voice had started trembling as she told their story, Marinette throwing her hand in front of her mouth. Tears sprang to her eyes. She had known that Chat and her were opposites, but she had never been aware of the consequences of such. Now that she knew Adrien’s secret identity and his problems at home, she also knew where they were coming from – or at least, why they were so severe.

“But… but if it hurts him that much – why does he keep doing it?”

Tikki’s look became a tad bit sadder, sighting before she answered.

“You know, being Chat Noir gives you freedom. You have a secret identity, no one to judge you based on your background or family, no restrictions, no one telling you, what to do or how to behave. Many people would accept bad luck in order to gain that kind of liberty. And every Chat Noir had a sense of duty – to the people he protected and to his Ladybug.”

The tears Marinette had been trying to hold back finally overflowed, leaving shining traces on her cheeks. The room started spinning, the girl crashing to the ground on her knees, keeling over, shaking. Sobbing quietly into her hand, she let herself be comforted by Tikki’s touch.

Chat… her poor Chat… how had she been so blind to his suffering? He always smiled it away, followed by a cheesy pun, making it seem as if nothing was wrong. Marinette’s heart tightened at the thought, her breath threatening to accelerate.

But there was no time for that. Chat was in dire need of help and she had to do something.

“Tikki, is there any way to… to break the spell? Anything I can do?”

Tikki’s eyes locked on hers, seemingly searching for something behind their blueness. Slowly, she started talking.

“There might be a way…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to punch a wall.
> 
> I am completely stuck. I am so mad at myself. I am fighting pretty hard against a blockade and I am sooo unhappy with this chapter. 
> 
> I won't abandon this story, no, but i am really struggling. I am really sorry and thankful for my supporters, I love you all and hope to give you more quality content soon.
> 
> Love and Apologies,  
> Azu


	13. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having lost his miraculous, Adrien was akumatized and turned into Chat Gris. Abducting Marinette, he revealed his real identity to her and Hawkmoth before being cleansed by Ladybug. Finding out his real identity, Marinette took him, vouching to help him. But something still wasn't right with him after the Akuma attacked.

 

 

 

 

Christmas had gone by beautifully.

Her family had always been one to grandly celebrate Christmas anyway, but with Adrien around, they seemed to have put in even more effort than regularly.

The whole house was decorated in a festive spirit, a tree had been put up, its branches hanging slightly down due to the weight of the decorations. The fireplace crackled away, silly pullovers were worn the whole time and there seemed to be magic in the air.

And, of course the smell of cookies.

Adrien had seemed down after waking up the other night, but when she asked him if he would like to bake together with her, a small bit of his usual self seemed to come out again.

Two hours later and the kitchen looked like a war zone.

It had all started out quite nicely. Marinette had shown him around the kitchen of the bakery, giggling while he stared in awe at the different machineries they had. He revealed that he hadn’t baked or cooked in years, making her heart ache slightly, but she pushed it away with a smile.

“Then it is high time you did it again.”

And bake they did. They knead massive amounts of dough, as Marinette planned to give away a fair share of cookies to their friends. Adrien’s eyes started shining like the ones of a small child, when he saw their collections of cookie-cutters and – who could have guessed – immediately went for the cat ones. Marinette didn’t even know they had so many feline-theme ones, but Adrien seemed to have a talent for finding them between the hundreds of tools in that box.

They had worked together for the first hour without incident, cutting out the baked goods, laughing and joking around. Marinette had settled down around him, overcoming her shyness. The last few days had shown her that he indeed was not perfect, but just a regular human being like herself. He had his strengths and weaknesses and it had been wrong for her to put him up on a pedestal.

Shortly before, they had started decorating the cookies with different creams, when she spaced out, thinking about the last few days. Adrien must have noticed, because a sly grin appeared on his face. He hadn’t felt so at ease in a long time now and his relaxation led him to be careless about how strong he showed his Chat-personality.

Leaning closer to her, until their noses almost touched, his eyelids half closed.

“Spacing out over the fact how beautiful these cat-cookies are, Princess?”

Marinette gave a start at his words and Adrien was just about to pull away and laugh when she did something unexpected.

He didn’t know how or when, but the next time he blinked, he had molten chocolate all over his cheeks. Both of them stared at each other in shock, seeing as Marinette had acted purely on defensive instinct.

The moment lasted a few seconds, before the sly grin reappeared on Adrien’s mouth, at the same time that Marinette’s face turned a lovely shade of red. Seeing his expression, she knew she – and the kitchen – was doomed.

Here went nothing.

“You did not just attack me with chocolate, did you? Oh, you are so on.”

Grabbing a handful of flour that still stood on the counter, he stalked towards her, like a cat preying after a mouse. Reflexes made Marinette raise her arms, but there was little she could do.

“It was an accident! I am sorry!”

Adrien deliberately put a pout on, going into dramatic mode.

“No words of apology can redeem your actions, princess, you have hurt me deeply in my manly pride. And now you will suffer the consequences!”

With these words, he released the flour in his hand. Marinette squealed.

Like snowflakes, they settled on Marinette, covering her hair, face, arms and chest. But compared to snowflakes, they didn’t melt, but rather stuck to her, making her blink, to get the grains out of her eyes.

Adrien on the other hand was holding his stomach, laughing so hard he was bend over. Marinette’s blush was still visible even under the layer of flour on her cheeks. Taking a handful of the baking ingredient, she stepped towards her friend.

“Revenge!”, she shouted, while she dropped the content of her fist over his head, rubbing it in in his hair, using the fact that he was still busy laughing.

Adrien shrieked like a small girl, before turning around and running away. Close on his heels, she followed, both hands filled with ammunition. They ran around in circles like Tom and Jerry, until she had him finally pinned against the wall.

“Now there is no way to escape”, she huffed, pulling one of her hands back to prepare her blow, but Adrien wasn’t having any of it. Hooking his heel behind her leg, he made her fall, forcing her to open her hands in reflex, letting the flour scatter to the floor. Before she could join it, he grabbed her again, twirling around, until he had _her_ pinned against the wall, both of her wrists held in his hands and pressed against the concrete behind her.

They both panted and huffed as a result of their chase, staring each other in the eye. It took both of them a second to realize the peculiar position they were in, making them both blush, but not backing down either. Their chests almost touched in their longing for air, and maybe also for each other.

“So? What are you going to do to me now?”

She elevated her chin, trying to express confidence, when in reality she was a mess. She and Chat had often clashed into each other, but this had always been in the heat of a fight, not leaving any time to think about personal space.

This was different.

This was Adrien Agreste – her Chat Noir – pressing her against a wall, while his eyes darted visibly between her eyes and lips, his own blush deepening by the second. Licking his lips, he tried to clear his throat, before speaking. His pupils went wide and in her haze, Marinette imagined them to faintly glow red, but that must have been her imagination. The grip on her wrist hardened as well, coming neared by the second.

“You have no idea what I want to do to you,” he whispered, making a shiver run down her back. She half-closed her eyes when he leaned in, closing them when she could feel his breath against her mouth and then – they met.

It was just for a millisecond, a mere brush of lips, not enough to be even considered a real kiss, before his head snapped back suddenly, letting go of her wrists and stumbling back.

Heaving once more, he stared at her with wide eyes, Marinette unable to do anything but returning the favour. His whole body cramped, as if he was in pain, shivering slightly. They were both frozen for a few seconds, before Adrien stuttered.

“I- I think I’ll take a shower. Yes, shower.”

With that, he simply turned around, almost sprinting to the stairs that led up to the bathroom, leaving a very red and very flustered Marinette in his wake.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! 
> 
> A new chapter after, what, only two months? That's incredible *goes into the turner and cries*  
> I have let it happen, it is my own fault and there is no excuse. But maybe a bit of good news: I have refound my motivation and inspiration to write! Yeah, seriously, it was stuck between the stress and frustration in my head, but I finally pulled it out!
> 
> No, but seriously guys: I will try and finish this story before the year ends, I owe that to you. I really love your support, even though I don't deserve it.
> 
> This was more of a fluffy character to get back into it and lighten things up, so I can destroy them with the next one >:D (I am a horrible human being. You have no idea how many times I have said that sentence out loud in the last few weeks.)
> 
> Love you sooo much and until next time!  
> Azu
> 
> PS: I'll have my driving exam next wednesday, wish me luck T.T


	14. Blamed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blabla, Plagg left Adrien, blabla Despair and Chat Gris, blabla Christmas. Now the darkness has returned.

 

 

As soon as Adrien had slammed the door behind him, he sank to his knees, palms pressed against his head, pushing, fighting against the thing inside his head. He gritted his teeth.

“Get – out – of – my – HEAD!”

There was pain. It started between his eyes, spreading rapidly like a wildfire, taking over his whole body, forcing him to lie down, curled up like an infant.

_Stop fighting me. I just wanted to give you what you wanted. Don’t you yearn for that girl? You could have had her. You could have every girl you wanted._

“Please… stop…”

He could feel it again. The darkness, the akuma. He was still there, fighting against the bonds that held him back, but somehow he knew, that if he lost this battle, there would be no going back. The pain became almost unbearable, his vision blurring with tears.

_You are under the delusion, that love heals all wound, but some wounds are too deep to be healed. Let go of love. Embrace the darkness, embrace the hate and I will promise you – you will experience true freedom._

The young boy shook his head from side to side, clawing at his hair, his eyes wide opened, the tears overflowing.

“No… Please… just leave…”

But Adrien was out of energy. He had fought this battle for days now, constantly aware of his own action, asking himself every time, if it was him deciding to do anything or the darkness inside. He was exhausted, powerless. He struggled until the end, but it was a lost battle. The pain was too intense, his body shortly before passing out. At this point he just wanted it to _stop,_ just for everything to stop.

So he let go.

_Hello again. Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you._

Dark mist washed over Adrien’s body, engulfing him completely, before leaving behind a grey leather suit. When he opened his eyes the next time, they had taken on the opposite colour than usual, blinking a few times, before a feral grin spread all over his face.

He had waited long enough. It was time to spread some havoc.

It was time for Chat Gris to appear once again.

 

 

Screams filled the city that night.

Plagg’s eyes were wide opened as he stared of the city, his whole body shaking. He tried to block out his senses that told him, _screamed_ at him, that this was his boy out there. His boy who had been akumatized.

Again.

His whiskers trembled in the cold winter wind, picking up everything he had tried to ignore before. The new suit. The red eyes. The cataclysm. The hate. The fear.

The loneliness.

His paws were not big enough to cover his ears, as he tried to make it _stop._ He hadn’t wanted this. He had not wanted his boy to be even more desperate. He had wanted to give him a shot at a new life without bad luck trailing him everywhere, but this… this was the opposite of everything.

The breath of the tiny cat became faster by the second, his eyes still unblinking, the small creature unable to look away. This was chaos was his fault. He had wanted to help his boy and he had failed him. He had failed them all. This was no normal akumatization, there was no cursed object, nothing. This was the darkness in the boy that he had succumbed to. This couldn’t be undone by a simple Lucky Charm.

There was no way to undo this. And it was all Plagg’s fault.

He had finally found a way to shut out the noise. His own screams were the only thing loud enough to fight his senses.

So he screamed.

 

 

Hawkmoth didn’t understand. He had not sent out an akuma, but he could clearly see Chat Gris wreaking havoc all around the city. The news was full of the events. It showed pictures of people weeping, crying, screaming their lungs out, tears running down their faces filled with despair.

It hadn’t taken him long to find the boy from his window, searching frantically for a cursed object, but there was nothing. His powers were overwhelming, forcing Hawkmoth to look away after only a small glimpse, gasping for air.

This was definitely no akuma. This was something different. Something darker, grimmer, more powerful than anything he could ever create.

And if he had to be honest, he was scared. Scared for the people, the city and most of all, scared for his son. What had happened to him to corrupt him in such a manner? How had he not realized that Adrien had suffered that greatly?

This was his fault. And he had no idea how to fix it.

 

“This is all my fault.”

Ladybug cursed under her breath as she swung over the roofs of Paris. Her eyes searched frantically for a glimpse of grey or red, following the trail of wailing people on the streets, their weeps and screams echoing in her brain.

She should have talked to Adrien. She should have told him that she knew his secret and told him hers. She should have let him know that he wasn’t alone in all of this, that she was there for him, that she would _always_ be there for him.

Instead, she had been too scared. Scared of her own feelings, scared of not being able to help him, of letting him down. But everything would have been better than _this._

Landing on a roof, Ladybug tried to catch her breath. The noise around her made it hard to concentrate. Affected people were everywhere, making it hard to guess, in which direction Chat Gris had went.

She cursed once again. She could have prevented this. She could have prevented having all these people weep, prevented the misery that was lying over the whole city. But most of all, she could have prevented Adrien from turning again, from living a nightmare. When her assumption was correct, he could remember most of what had happened and she could only imagine how cruel that had to be. In this new light, the amnesia of the other victims seemed to be a blessing.

Time was running and the noise only got louder. How should she find him in this chaos? And even if she did, what could she do? Was this an akuma or something entirely different?

Crossing her arms, she grabbed her shoulders, hugging herself as she tried to calm down. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she could feel despair rising in her.

“Chaton, where are you?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame. All the blame
> 
> So, this is the the lead-up to the big finale, the big fight. It will be glorious (hopefully).
> 
> Thank you for your patience, I love you guys!  
> Love,  
> Azu
> 
> azuwrites.tumblr.com


	15. Cornered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Gone: The darkness has taken over, everybody is in despair, yada yada.

 

 

 

The screams filling the air were music to his ears.

He had climbed the Eiffel Tower once again, letting his gaze wander over the ‘City of Love’, grinning at how he had managed to single-handedly turn it into the ‘City of Despair’.

The sobbing, the wailing, the weeping. Nothing sounded sweeter to Chat Gris, a content grin decorating his face.

“See Adrien? You don’t suffer alone. Now, the whole city suffers with you and shares your misery. Can you think of anything better than that?”

There was no response. The boy was completely out of it, barely conscious enough to even realize what was happening around him, making Gris smile even wider.

He had full control. He had full control over this strong body with incredible powers and there was no one who could stop him. He laughed out in glee.

The darkness had won. And there was no way he would let go of this control again.

 

 

She had found him.

In hindsight, it should have been logical for him to be at the Eiffel Tower, but all that mattered was that she had found him at all. 

Ladybug hadn’t made her presence known yet, watching, trying to decide, what to do. There was no cursed object, no akuma, nothing. The darkness itself had taken over and she had no idea what to do about it.

Before she even had the time to come up with an idea, she saw something sweeping at her from the side of her face, barely able to dodge the claw aimed at her cheek.

Jumping back, she looked up to stare directly into the magenta eyes of Gris, flinching under the hate she could see there.

“You… Finally. You might have escaped the last time, but this time the boy is completely out of it, so,” letting his Cataclysm spark, “get ready to face despair.”

 

Ladybug had no idea how they had ended up once again at the same spot they had fought the last time. The snow had melted mostly by now, leaving the grass wet and slippery – perfect conditions for a fight.

Only now did Ladybug understand how much Adrien’s presence had helped the last time they had come face to face. With the boy out of the way, Gris was ruthless – and she was running out of energy.

He still knew her fighting style, swiping at her when she was regaining her guard, hitting her hard enough that she felt it despite the protection of her suit. Her breath came out in short burst, her body screaming for more air, while her opponent seemed to become stronger by the second.

She tried to think, desperate to catch a moment of air to be able to come up with a solution. There had to be a way for her to get that darkness out, but there was no time to spare for such plans. Her whole focus was on not getting hit by Gris’ Cataclysm, because once that happened – it was over. So she stalled, hoping to tire him out a bit, turning to defence rather than offense.

Taking a step back to dodge one of his kicks, the inevitable still happened – she slipped.

Her hands grasped for something to stop her fall and only found the front of Gris’ suit. His eyes widened when she pulled him with her to the ground. Landing on her back, he tumbled on top of her, using her short-timed dizziness to pin her down, her wrists held in one hand, his knees pressing into her thighs. Raising his Cataclysm hand, he grinned down at her, apparently relishing at her pained and fearful expression.

“Seems like I finally have you where I want you. With you out of the way, there is nothing that can stop me. Goodbye Ladyb-”

It was a desperate attempt. Arching her body up, she pressed her mouth against his, her lips salty from tears. Her fingers were pressing into his cheeks, pulling him down to her, trying to put all of her feelings into that one contact, hoping that _he_ would wake up again, that _he_ would return. She needed him like the air she was breathing, needed him back. Because if this didn’t work – she had no idea what to do next.

Closing her eyes, she didn’t see the shocked expression in Gris’ face, before he reacted.

He pushed her away.

Jerking his head back, he jumped back, rubbing furiously at his mouth, Ladybug following him with unbelieving eyes.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

While Gris was still busy with his face, Ladybug simply stared at him. She didn’t understand. Tikki had said that the only way to break this curse was true love, so how come it hadn’t worked?

Her thoughts were distracting enough that she didn’t realize that Gris had his bearings back and was once again making his way over to her. This time he grabbed her by the throat, pulling her up until her feet left the ground. Choking, she tried to push him away, but his anger was fuelling his power.

“Who do you think you are? You will pay for this!”

Raising his hand, he activated his Cataclysm once again, white sparks dancing at his fingertips, ready to strike. Ladybug was still pushing against his grip, but to no avail. Her body was screaming for air and energy was flowing out of her like a burst water bag.

She didn’t see what happened. The next thing she knew, the claws around her neck let go and she was falling on the ground, heaving, longing, craving for air to fill her deprived lungs. It took her half a minute to refocus on the scene in front of her and another half to understand what was going on. Her eyes soon landed on something small, black and floating a short distance away from Gris.

Plagg was back.

 

He had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

He had sworn to stay away. He had covered his ears and screamed his lungs out to ignore what was happening. He had told himself again and again and _again_ that he didn’t care.

But here he was anyways. Ladybug lying on the ground from being choked, wailing filling the whole district and his boy – his boy, lost in darkness.

The scene broke his heart once again. He was crouching, his tail flicking behind him, ready to jump, his eyes full of hatred.

“Adrien… how… How did this happen to you?”

His question only drew laughter from the boy. It was nowhere near the clear, bright sound that Adrien had allowed himself from time to time, but rather bitter and rage-filled.

“You are seriously asking _me_ what happened? You left the boy alone and to his own demise. I only took, what should have been mine long ago. Thanks for the opportunity though. You made it a lot easier.”

This time it was Plagg’s turn to be filled with anger. This darkness, this… _thing_ had done enough harm when it was only the occasional voice in the back of the head, but this – this was so much worse.

He would not allow this to go any further.

“Get. Out. Of. My. BOY!”

Plagg attacked.

 

He might not have any special abilities or anything, but the small cat was a power to be reckoned with.

It was actually his tiny height that gave him an advantage. Gris could strike and fight as much as he wanted, he couldn’t get a firm grasp on him. While he grabbed and reached for him, Plagg flew around him relentlessly, slashing and clawing at his suit, shouting all the while.

“Get out! Adrien, wake up! It’s me, Plagg! Please, come back!”

Plagg dared to stop a few seconds in front of his chosen’s face, giving him a pleading look, before barely evading his claws.

“Come on Adrien, you are stronger than this! Remember who you are!”

Using his speed, Plagg shortly landed on Gris’, slashing at the suit, before whizzing off again.

“Let my boy go! Get out of him! Adrien!”

Gris just snarled, halting his movements for a second, before striking again – and this time it was a hit.

Plagg went down, hard. Hitting the ground, he was dizzy for a few seconds, unable to react when a claw pinned him to the earth.

“Nowhere to go, huh?”

The grin Gris gave him was feral. Together with the glowing red eyes it represented a nightmare, one could only wish to never have. Coughing, the kitten raised his voice once again.

“Pull yourself together, Adrien! You can’t leave all these people to their own despair!”

“As if you had any right to talk about that!”

Together with the rush of anger expressed in Gris’ voice, the pressure on Plagg increased, making it harder to breathe.

“Your actions were what set me free! It is your fault, that he became like this! You left the boy! You left _me!”_

Choking, Plagg’s eyes flew open, catching onto the last shouted phrase. _You left me?_ Could that mean…? It was a small hope, but nonetheless, the only one.

“I know. I know that it’s my fault.”

“Good, because it is. After I have taken you out, I will deal with that pest over there and then nobody will be able to stop me! The boy will be gone forever and then _I_ will be in charge!”

“Listen, Adrien. I know it was wrong of me to go. I let this happen to you. But all I ever wanted was to protect you from my bad luck!”

“That’s a lie!”

“No it’s not and you know it!”

“If you really cared, you wouldn’t have left the b- me! You would have stayed!”

“I thought that I didn’t have a choice!”

“Still, you chose to leave me! You don’t care at all about me!”

“I CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU!”

A silence followed Plagg’s anguished scream. Nothing and nobody moved, wide magenta eyes staring into green ones, filled with regret, sadness, hurt, agony – and one emotion, that overshadowed all of the others.

“No…”

Gris’ voice was unbelieving, but his hold on the small creature loosened ever so slightly. Fighting back the tears, Plagg continued in a small voice.

“I… care too much about you. That’s why I left.”

There was another pause. Gris’ simply stared at him, face slightly contorted, as if he was fighting his own emotions.

“I couldn’t stand to see you get affected by my bad luck on a constant basis… I couldn’t see you suffer.

With my previous protégées, I didn’t care. I never let myself care. I couldn’t, otherwise there never would have been any Chat Noirs after the first one.”

Plagg blinked away the tears that had started forming. This was not the time to beat himself up over stories long past. There was enough time for that later. _Focus!_

“But you… you were just too much… Too kind, too trying, too brave, too lonely… And I couldn’t stop myself from caring for you… and only when I had already ruined your life, did I leave. It was selfish of me but I had hoped that this time… maybe this time it might have been better. It might have been different. But I wasn’t. My curse will never leave.”

At this point, Plagg turned his head away, closing his eyes. He could not stand to see the expression of his boy’s face. The guilt weighting down on his chest was heavier than the claw pressing him into the ground.

Plagg had thought long and hard about his actions. He shouldn’t have left without an explanation. Maybe all of this could have been avoided if he had just given him one back then and they might had come to a mutual agreement. He would leave it up to the boy to decide what they would do next. Leaving him for a second time was almost too much for his mind to understand, but he would put the boy’s wishes first.

If he wanted him to stay for whatever crazy reason, he would do so.

If he wanted him to leave… he would do so.

He had already made up his mind, but the next words still felt like acid in his tongue.

“I know that you might never forgive me. And I know that I am the one at fault for your misery. And if you want… I can leave you and take my curse with me… But I can’t leave you like this…”

At this point, the tears in Plagg’s eyes had started overflowing, trailing an invisible path on his cheeks, before gliding along his whiskers, wetting the earth beneath him. Breathing deeply, his next words were barely more than a whisper, his eyes still closed.

“So please… Please don’t give up Adrien. There is so much light in you and it _will_ get better. Please Adrien… come back…”

Following his words, there was a long silence. Plagg fought against the urge to flee, to not have this conversation, but he had done this mistake once already and it hadn’t turned out well. He had to face his demons. It was a bittersweet thought.

Plagg was so fixated on fighting back the tears, that he didn’t even realize that the brutal hold on him had softened, until he was gently picked up from the ground by a human hand. He didn’t realize, that the screaming in the streets had stopped, replaced by the normal city-noise. He didn’t hear the gasp that Ladybug gave, as she watched the scene in front of her.

Only when the tip of a finger touched his lids to dry away the tears did he open his eyes. He had to blink a few times to see clearly and wanted to start crying again, when his eyes were met by eyes in the same colour. Staring up, Plagg stared straight into the two big, watery ponds – green ponds.

“You haven’t ruined my life, Plagg. You saved it.”

 

If you were present on the last Monday before New Year’s Eve, on a particular piece of grass on the banks of the Seine, you might have been able to spot two teenagers, kneeling on the ground, with a bit of a distance between them. If you had come any closer, you might have identified them as Ladybug – the spotted suit being a dead give-away – and Adrien Agreste – well, his face was enough to know who he is, considering it was plastered all over Paris. You might also spot a small, feline creature held by the boy, tears running down his face, as the teenager cradled it to his chest. If you were able to come close enough to see all that, you would be close enough to hear the two of them laugh, interrupted by the occasional sob.

And if you were close enough to see and hear all that, you would be close enough to feel the love that bounded those two forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not even going to apologize for the time gap, because I have no excuse, other than not being really satisfied with the freaking pacing of this chapter but not being able to fix it in more than THREE MONTHS so yeah.
> 
> So that's it. There is one more chapter to come as a sorts of epilogue, but that's it people. This story has been an incredible journey for me for the last year (especially since I started writing it shortly before my A-levels, despite trying to focus on those only, so yeah, that happened) and I hope I could bring it to a satisfying end. 
> 
> As always, I would love to hear from you. The last chapter will go online tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. See you then, chaps.
> 
> With all the Love in the world  
> Azu


	16. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The short but happy ending our sunshine-son deserves.

 

The snow fell, almost danced onto the roof of the city of love.

New Year had passed as noisily as ever, leaving people with hopes and resolutions, they hoped to keep for once. Though Christmas had already passed, the decorations were still up, upholding the magical atmosphere of the holidays. Schools were closed for another week, giving the students time to spend with friends and family.

And that was exactly what one specific boy in a big, not-as-cold-as-before house planned to do.

“Plagg! Where are you, we need to get going!”

The tiny cat grumbled and rose from his place on the couch, floating over to his protégée.

“I was just taking a nap, have some pity for an old poor tomcat who hasn’t slept in a week.”

Adrien blew his bangs out of his face, before grinning. Pulling the Kwami closer to his mouth, he quietly whispered into his ear.

“I heard Marinette has stored tons of Camembert in her room for you to enjoy while you spend some time with Tikki, but if you don’t want to go…”

It was like a switch was flipped in the cat’s brain.

“Camembert? Why didn’t you say so? What are you waiting for, let’s go!”

The boy laughed as he saw his best friend fly around the room excitedly, nagging the blonde to hurry up, which only made him giggle again.

Walking out of the mansion with his Kwami tucked away under his jacket, Adrien blew out white clouds of air as he headed towards the home of the Dupain-Chengs, a spring in his step he hadn’t had for a long time.

The last two weeks had been exhausting and scary to say the least, but they had brought so much good with them as well. The relationship between Plagg and Adrien was better than ever; his akumatization had somehow made his dad give him more freedoms, allowing him to go to school again; and he and his Lady…

It had been quiet the shock to find out that the girl who had taken him in so generously at his worst was also the one, he had sworn to protect with his life for years. To be honest, the first few days had been a bit awkward, but they had made a lot of progress since then.

Thinking about all of this made him laugh out loud, earning himself some weird looks from other pedestrians, but he couldn’t care less. He felt like he could hug the whole world.

Feeling the small creature hidden under his clothes only made his smile wider. Laying his hand over his chest, he cradled it slightly. Looking up again, he found himself face to face with the door to the Dupain-Cheng boulangerie. It was shortly after closing time, but Marinette had told him, that the door would be open for him.

Thinking about the girl with her family behind that door and the small cat in his pocket, his smile widened even further. A feeling, that he hadn’t felt in a long time, spread in his chest again, thinking about all the people he had in his life and what they meant to them. Pushing open the door, he embraced that feeling, letting its warmth wash over him.

He had found home again.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again. I am again not completely content with especially the pacing of this chapter, but well, it's the end of this story. Gosh I think this holds the record of the longest finished story I have ever written. (at least in English. In German that's another story, but hopefully my originally story will catch up soon :D)
> 
> I love you all and tell me what you think!  
> Love  
> Azu


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